Got it! Well, finally I remembered to get it lol. It's been out for a few months but I'm procrastinating and procrastinating till now I finally get it.

Okay, today went to school for the JCG sub comm interview, well, all have been said and done and I'll wait for the results with no regrets! (:

So, after that, went to have lunch with junhui and walked around and I bought Bokura ga Ita vol 13 and Shiawasse Kissa Sanchoume vol 15. Ending for it is kinda sucky in a sense, but the front part is v.v. climatic! Overall I still like it!! (:(:

Then went to the Esprit sale with junhui and xinquan with his parents. Thank youu xin's mum! For letting me getting a formal shirt + tee for just $57 bucks!

After that, went to bought cheese cake stick at Icing Room :D it's fantabulous! Haha. And I get a free muffin also! *auntie spirit* :P

Then went to have dinner at 18 chefs, and went home. Having slight sore throat now. ):

And I read Bokura ga Ita vol 13. Uber sad. ): Sigh. Seriously, can't the mangaka provide the protagonists happy endings alr! It's painfully saddening looking at how Nanami suffers in the shadows of Yano and her past. Takeuchi is also suffering too because of this past. *sigh*

Some excerpts from that manga:

----
'Time seem to pass so slowly, it'd be nice if I had loads of work to do. I sure hope that the sun will set soon, and I'll have no time to think, and memories wouldn't invade my thoughts...and I wouldn't be so confused anymore...'

'Just like that, you pretend that you feel nothing, covering it all up...acting normally, as if nothing happened at all, do you think at this pace you can carry on with Takeuchi?'

'One has to move on, without listening, without looking, without looking...I can only hope that I won't make anymore mistakes.'

'Letting all those confusing feelings accumulate, letting it taking over your feelings and letting it all out at once, it's not good at all.'

'Never let a moment of wavering in your heart, destroy every bits and pieces of relationships you have.'

'Regret, it's like a curse that will eat your heart while you live and you'll slowly but surely lose all the things you cherish in your heart.'

'Starting to hate someone that you've loved so much, doesn't it sound extremely sad?'

'Back then we gave it our all, we neither lied nor made mistakes, we didn't fail and didn't do anything wrong. It's just that...time has passed and changed it all.'

'Although at that time we did our best, time has changed it all. Promises to tears, vows to wounds, a dear person into a wonderful memory inside the eternity.'

'It's okay to remember him. Lock all those thoughts away in a box and place it in the corner of your heart, and, from time to time, you can open the box and take a look inside.'

'I don't think a relationship that's 'over' exists. Even if you move on and don't ever meet again, it's still a continuing relationship. You remember the person and look at everything a bit differently. But that's natural because we all change with time. The other persons changes as well. Your memories continually change, too.'

'Goodbyes are often so painfully quick, and time really tends to have no meaning at all.'

'What is happiness? I don't know....but i think it means you never cry or get angry....you don't throw things around or beat people up.'

'Yano, where are you now? Who did you meet today? What did you talk about? What did you eat? What kind of places did you go to? Yano, who is the person you love right now?'

'In my mind the memories of when I was 17 continue to play. Why is it that I don't know the 18 year old Yano, the 19 year old Yano, not even the 23 year old Yano? The Yano in my memory is still 17. All I know is the Yano that I spent 2 and half years of my high school life with. Yano is no longer the 17 year old Yano. And I hate to admit that the Yano I knew no longer exists....'

'Hate is not the opposite of love.'
----

This series is totally full of quotes, quotes and memorable quotes. Haha! Although it's reallllly boring at the start, the tear wrenching storyline starts from around volume 5/6. ): It's just way too sad! Currently it's out till chapter 58, and rumors have been saying it'll end at chapter 60! Currently, Nana have been pushed away by both Takeuchi and Yano ): I srsly wonder how will this ends!

I totally admire Obata sensei for creating such a story that we could relate! Dammit!!

In the story, someone explained that memories are just a figment of an imagination and creation. Two girls, A and B, remembered looking at the same picture. A remember that the girl is wearing a yellow dress, while B remembered the girl, wearing a red dress. Who's right? Neither it is, as the picture is black and white.

Labels: Daily Rants, Manga, Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems

Ohmigosh this totally says what I wanna say (: Vampireknightfan from deviantart wrote this! :D

I come to the middle of a fork in the road,
Which way to go,
Which path do I take?
Give me some guidance or inkling,
Anything.

Left, what will you bring to me,
Will you bring me prosperity and happiness?
Or will it be,
Yet another pain in the heart,
From Cupid’s arrow?

Right, why should you be the way,
The path I should choose?
Is their anything you can give?
That Left won’t be able to,
Because you are right for me?

The road less traveled,
Might be hard at first glance,
But it is worth it,
In the end of the life,
That is well lived.

I’ll choose my own path through life,
But you will help me throughout,
Like an outstretched hand only for me,
To see and grasp when I am alone,
Or need a push to keep moving.

I just want a lift down the road,
To have a glimpse at what each of you offer me,
And come back to this crossroad,
This crossroad of my life,
Just don’t rush me.

I need time to think.

-Makes you wonder, isn't it good if we could know what happens when me make a choice?-

Labels: Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems

Labels: Daily Rants, Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems

Today's little thought:
~~~~
You run, yet you want to be caught.

One day, you'll find yourself running, with no one chasing you.
~~~~

Short Story
Spring:
It is spring, the season of which signals a new start. New meetings, new people. The weather is slightly cold, yet warm at times. Everyone in the campus is friendly, and my roommate Josh is so friendly! It's been a few days since I've come to this country. How are you over at Singapore? I'm sorry that I had to leave you behind to further my studies. I promise I'll call you, and write more to you.

----
I've just received your email! I'm glad you enjoyed over there baby! I'm fine here, I understand your situation. It's good that you've planned your future. Don't worry! I've Mello here! We've been shopping too much recently that I've emptied this month budget. Don't worry about me too much, and enjoy your time there!

Summer:
Summer. It's hell over here! How I wished that it'd be over soon. Studying under such weather, makes it much tougher. I've heard about what happened to your grandmother. Why didn't you tell me! I know you loved her so much, and I'm sorry that I couldn't rush down, just to be by your side. I'll be back to Singapore during winter break, and how I wished I could be in Singapore now.

----
I understand, I really do. I'm sorry for not telling you...

Autumn:
Honey, we've been talking less and less recently. I know LDR is tough, but I hope that we could pull through this. I'll be back in 3 months time, I hope that you'd wait for me.
----
-You've no new messages.-

Winter:
I came back, full of expectations, and worries. It's been a year since I came back to this country. I've see my family, my friends, yet I didn't hear about any news from you.

Where did you go? Is this the punishment for me? For not being by your side when you need me, for not being to be with you everyday, like you wanted? Is this how it is supposed to end?

I didn't know, silent breakups is that painful. While walking in the street, I saw you, with another guy...walking happily. It pains me to see this, I had a sudden urge of running over to confront you. I clenched my fist as hard as I could, and I realised.

"It's no use."

You've moved on, without telling me. How sly can that be? Even a simple message "Let's break up." Would be sufficient. Yet, you've done nothing. No messages.
And it has dawned on me. Maybe my position in your heart, is not as important as I've thought.

Labels: Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems

Disclaimer: This following mini-story is a figment of my imagination in my head. It does not co-relate to any actual stuffs, believe it or not.

This story, is said from the third person view.
----
There was once a couple, Let's call them...Him, and Her. (:

Him and Her, is a famous couple in the campus. Everyone in the school, know about their relationship. Never quarreled, always together during free time, everyone could see how perfect their relationship is.

Yet, let me tell all of you, a statement where everyone would've heard once in their whole lifetime. Nothing is perfect in this world.

No couples wouldn't argue, that's for sure. They sure do quarrel, but even if they did, they still acted like they didn't in the campus. It was just all a facade, made due to their ego, wanting others to see how perfect they are, as a couple.

However, it didn't last long. One day, news traveled. Him and Her have broken up! It came as a shock, seeing how perfect they were. Yet, only those clueless that didn't see through the facade believed it. Actually...the real story is that, Him has been two-timing all the while with Her.

Him treated Her as "another girl in his life", while Her "treated him as the true one in her life."

From that breakup onwards, Him treated Her as if she was transparent.

Her was always waiting. Waiting for Him to look back at her.

"Look back please, I do not fear if it's just once. Just look back, and notice me."

Yet, Him only looked at other girls. Her is just waiting for something that would never happen. True enough, nothing happened. A year has passed, with the hopeless anticipation.

Someone finally managed to convince Her that Him will not look back ever again. "He's always looking forward, yet you...who are looking forward, is only looking at his back."

"He's never going to turn back to look at you. Move on."

Will Him ever look back?
----

Labels: Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems

Today little thoughts:
~~~~
Quoted from the movie, "He's Just Not That Into You":

Maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy. Maybe, it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future.

Maybe, the happy ending is...just moving on.

Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment...you never gave up hope.
~~~~

Just watched this movie with mt...god it is long. 2 hours! Overall, I enjoy the movie, more that I have expected to. I actually understand what the movie is talking about hahaha. Well...

In the end, what I could sum up for the movie is, one shouldn't be too insistent on something, sometimes things work out, sometimes it doesn't. So it's better to know when to salvage, when to reject, when to accept, when to leave.

And, when not to listen to rumors and examples. What might happen to others, might not happen to you. You are the rule, they are the exception. LOL.

This movie is suitable for the singleton and the coupleton. No matter which category you are, I think you could enjoy this movie...although it's quite the normal romance movie anyone could expect, well...it sure brings some thoughts into your mind.

Btw...good luck to those taking sem exams this week! Jiayou! (:

Labels: Movies, Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems

Read this in a book before, and I do find something weird and I do know the answer. It's quite freaky. =x Can you find something weird in the following story?

Once, there is a group of 4, who went to a hiking trip in winter. On their way back, there's a heavy snowstorm. One of the people of the group fell down the cliff. When the rest reached him, he's already dead. They carried their friend and continue on their journey. Due to the snowstorm is getting stronger by the minute, they decided to find a shelter to stay in till the snowstorm is over.

They found a wooden shack, and after placing their friend down, they found out that the shack has nothing, not even a single light source. With the decreasing temperature, they find it hard to stay awake.(Basically if you sleep, most probably = death) So they made up a plan.

Each of them would stay in one corner of the house. And they would walk along the walls, to one of the corner, and tap the other person shoulder. The person who got tapped on would stand up and walk, while the person who tapped him would sit in his place. This would prevent everyone from sleeping.

this cycle went on and on, until dawn arrived. All of them survived, and brought their friend who had a mishap down the mountain.

The event was over, yet one people in the group find it weird.

What is the thing, that the person find it weird?

Clue: Their method of surviving the snowstorm. There's something really weird.

Labels: Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems

I did mention about getting this game, and guess what? I didn't make the wrong choice. It gives me a reason to pick up my NDS again. (After the Phoenix Wright Series! Gyakuten Kenji is coming! Edgeworth!)

Back to topic. The World Ends With You is actually about a emo-boy called Neku. Anti-social. He suddenly woke up in Shibuya's scramble crossing, with no memories of what happening...and he found out a pin, got attacked by monsters, and a annoymous message saying:

Reach 104.
You have 60 minutes.
Fail, and face erasure.

After that, he meets a girl, Shiki, and makes a pact with her. He found out that he's dead, and he's in a "Game", where he must survive seven days to get a second chance in life. The rest, find it out yourself! (:

The gameplay is quite strenuous for me because I am a control freak. Lol. Basically the battle system is, you and your partner both battle noise (Monsters in the game) and erase it. Neku, at the bottom screen and your other partner at the top screen. Although you could set you partner to "battle themselves" <- [AI AI alert.], but I rather depend on myself so I am forced to multi-task haha. But this type of battle method is quite new to me, basically it's the first game I played that uses this battle format.

Direction controls in battle is quite basic, stylus for bottom screen and directional buttons/ABXY buttons for top screen. Getting the hang of it isn't quite hard.

In addition, how do you battle? You use pins. Pins with special powers, you level up different pins with different methods. Battle, Reboot (The time you didn't on your NDS), and mingling (Wireless communication).

Storyline: Basically it's a common storyline for an RPG in it's own way (MC being dead, try to survive, meets someone precious, a deserved ending), except that the place being used is actually Shibuya, the shopping heaven in Japan. The bustling crowds, trendsetters, messaging and calls through cellphones, burger joints and shops, it just seems like it's Shibuya on its own. It's really hard to mingle with reality in this game, and this game does it quite well.

Music: The soundtrack in this game. One word could describe it. ROCKS. (: Most of the songs have vocals in it, and it's quite pop with a little rock. The songs actually does potray the bustling, crowded streets in Shibuya well. I particulary like some of the voice-overs (NEKU!), but I don't fancy the way Beat screamed when he's in shock.

Graphics: It's 2D for storyline and semi 3D for gameplay. How do I describe this...but when I started playing, I actually loved the graphic, as opposed to what my friend said. It actually brings out a different way of admiring it whenever I see those graphics. Beats me.

It's definitely a replayable game, because of quite alot of stuffs to complete post game, and I'm currently at post game. If you're a real hardcore gamer and into completing everything (100% in every segment), then this game would take alot of time from you! Basically I'm already getting 80% in collection of monsters and items, but the few items at post game is too hard to get. ): For pins it's only a miserable 50%. T_T

Conclusion : A must get for RPG gamers for the novelty of the gameplay, and the storyline. For me, I loved Neku alot. Because he's an emo-guy turned to non-emo guy. (: Another reason for getting it is the post-game stuffs. I actually tried collecting everything and I ain't done yet. It's been 2 weeks...ARGH.

And this ends my review. ): But I enjoyed writing it! (:

OH! And the ending theme is nice. Lullaby For You. (:

The world does not ends with you...it begins with you!

Labels: Games, Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems

It is a cold winter that year.

A boy is walking in a forest. He wondered why would he be lost in a forest, on a cold winter day. He tried to find his way out, yet every path seemed new, not trodden on before.

Not before long, he reached a frozen lake. At there, he saw a lady in white standing alone on a bridge. He wondered, "Who would be standing alone here in such a cold day?"

He walked towards the girl, calling out to her. That girl turned. He was charmed by her looks. Her skin is so white, just like snow, yet her hair is jet black. With the cold winter wind blowing, when she turned her head, that boy thought he saw a pair of wings on her back.

The boy asked that girl, "Why are you standing here alone in this place?"

The girl replied: "Waiting."

The boy seems puzzled. "What are you waiting for?"

The girl turned towards him, and said: "You."

"Me? Why?" That boy felt weird, since he didn't meet that girl before.

"Because, I'm here to see you once more, and one last time." The girl said with a smile, yet she seemed so sad...that she might start crying when she stopped smiling.

Now, that boy is totally confused. When did I met her? Why would she want to see me one last time?

Before the boy get to ask that question, the girl vanshied. He looked towards the sky, and saw feathers fluttering down. Is what he is seeing true? The feathers just look like...feathers from an angel's wing.

At that moment he didn't realise, his meeting with the girl seemed to end, yet it was only starting. And how did he regret that he didn't remembered it...until 20 years later. When she is gone from his life again.

Labels: Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems

恋爱写真 - Read about 50 pages. It's a damn nice story. Because I got the manga first, then watched the movie. Then now it's the novel. Most touching story evah. Rawr. I'm still hunting the person who borrowed it and never returned it to me, and I can't find another copy of that book. May that person who forgot to return me that manga rot in hell. *rawr*

Lost Odyssey - At first it seems boring with the running and all those. Battle mechanics is turned based. Woots. The 1000 year dreams...some stories is touching, while some is plain boring. I wonder why? I love "The Little Liar" story. Damn sad. And it made me realise. Being immortal isn't that good at all. ):

The Last Remnant - TOTALLY. ROCKS. END. Haha. I'll wait for the guide before moving on.

Infinite Undiscovery - omg. It's like FF12 somehow minus the gambit system (damn it), which causes me some trouble in getting some achievements. Overall. Storyline is nice, with all the fanservice SE is giving.

Girls:
Aya - Bashful, emotional type. Easily jealous much?
Faina - "I'll do anything for Capell" And capell always went anything *bright eyes*
Michelle - The maternal type with...huge va va voom! LOL. Michelle is nice.
Seraphina - Ohh.She.Is.HOT. But she don't understand what's love. Sigh. She says it's illogical hahaha.
Dominica - The mighty warrior lady. Wooo suits those who love strong girls with a delicate side.
Vic - The girl who dresses up as a guy. Feisty.
Komachi - Certified stalker. Touma LOVE!
Rucha - For the paedophiles.

Guys:
Balbagan - The braws over brains dude.
Edward - Tsundere! LOL. No la. He is...emo somehow. I hated him at first, but I liked him now *my god*
Eugene - The planner. He somehow have some shady aura around him...
Touma - The innocent guy. He doesn't even notice Komachi loves him.
Sigmund - He died too early. *sob*
Capell - I totally love this guy. SUPER FUNNY. He loves Michelle hugging him, Faina willing to do anything for him. His real identity is a shocker. I never imagine he'd be...
Rico - Kid with an attitude.
Savio - Old guy. Hahaha. The studious type.
Kiriya - Wow. This guy is very harsh. Those who love being scolded...pick him!
Kristopher - The womaniser, yet he likes Seraphina more than other girls.

I only hate one part of this game. Cruising through towns and maps. GOD WHY CAN'T YOU HAVE A TELEPORT CRYSTAL LIKE FF12. - -

Okay. Gotta go. ANYONE WANNA WATCH THE SKY CRAWLERS?!?!

Labels: Games, Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems, Reviews and Experiences

This post is actually done simultaneously after the one at the top, but because the top post is much more important (With the news of the spoiled phones and much stuffs like that), I decided to switch abit =p

Okay. If you did read the post above, you should notice the question I asked. I did ask that question because someone who I will never ever name asked me this question.

What do you actually expect in love?

I was quite shocked with this abrupt question also...
----
Basically, this is what I expect~

Love and to be loved back. Simple isn't it...but you know, when it comes down to this four lettered word "l-o-v-e", it will always conclude as complicated, somehow.

To say the truth, I actually experience heaven and hell in love. Any small remarks from that person, I'd take it to heart. Good remarks, bad remarks, everything, I'd remember.

Really, it's better to have simple expectations in love, and straightforward in it. Trust is the basic in love, and without it, neither would love exist. Because it'd be tainted by doubts.

And yadda yadda yadda, I shall stop here because the answer I give have somemore paragraphs which is full of...omg even I typed I feel damn mushy stuffs. ):

But nevertheless, this phrase is the most truthfully hurting and relistic thing in love.

"Wishing the person you love would love you back, is it too much to ask for?" Ouch.
----

Labels: Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems

This story is purely fictional. Do you understand teh word fiction?

----
Never once did I banish the thoughts of this.

"Is what everyone expressing, saying, showing, real?"

Maybe because I am not willing to trust what everyone has shown, because I've experience once what's called "faking", "everything is just your wishful thinking" and "everything is just a facade to use your abilities". Tria once told me, "Don't stop trusting others just because such things happened before! Not everyone's like that!"

I kept quiet. I didn't want to say anything at all. I know what Tria said is right, yet I just couldn't bring myself to accept it. After all, who does really understand the feeling of being backstabbed by your best friend? I guess, no wonder why people said...

"Your best friend might be your worst enemy someday."

Oh well. At least I get that experience now, I have a "once bitten, twice shy" perspective into trusting others. It's been almost 8 years, yet I still couldn't bring myself to totally trust others, and in this universe, I only know someone whom I can totally trust.

「Myself」

It's the person, who I can trust, and will never betray me. Ever. So that's why, I realised it now, that...no matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I didn't think of...the thoughts of not trusting others still comes back to haunt me. It has already become a shadow, never vanishing, attached to me, until the day I die.

I hate changing to new environments.

It just seems that I had to create another wall, to shield myself. And everytime I did that, I just hear the same things over and over again. I've already feel nothing about it.

"Who's that guy?"
"Why is he always that quiet?"
"Is he arrogant? That's why he never talks to us?"

Everyone just knows how to label these type of negative thoughts to me. Never once do they try to communicate to me, to know me. It always happens, and after a few months, they finally realised it. That I'm not what they think of, yet...

How can I trust anyone now? That's why, I have so little people to confide in, and the only world I could escape in, is the library. Books give me a sense of comfort. The story it tells, the emotions inside, it felt...so real.

So this is just a withdrawn me, immersing myself into words that made up a fiction world. How I wished my world isn't non-fiction at all. How I wished I could use words to change everything.

Someday...maybe I could just step out of this shadows and enter the light.

Trust. It's the basic of all things. Yet once I failed grasping this, It just means that, I can't show my true self to anyone.
----

P.S: Haha sorry Cheryl =p but I know someone's birthday is on the 23rd! I forgot who only mah... =x

Labels: Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems

Remember what I said about pre-ordering DJ Max Clazziquai Edition?
Well...I just received this and however, I already played last night after downloading iso =p

And to say the truth...iso version is choppy when playing. Well what does choppy means? Well it means that at some parts, it lags and actually when you hit judgement 100%, it became judgement 20% wtf - -" so if the umd isn't like that, I'd really recommend you to buy the umd instead. [wtf cpu speed 333 still choppy.]

Let's just pray that the umd version isn't like that.

Well let's go through my first impressions okay! (:
Basically it's quite like the previous DJ Max Portable 2, but it isn't, due to some new additions which made me irritated like mad.

-Club Mode
Club mode is a mode whereby you start at a very very low rank (Which I think, 199 or 200), and you advance through clubs playing songs, challenging CPU DJ [In the form of like previous mission modes but only one song, to unlock characters, functions, gears, notes, OST, videos.] You also earn club emblems by clearing all the songs in one club.


Example of a club in one avenue

Oh and one note for usual 4b players. There is no 4b onli nao. I advanced to one club, and once of the repetory playing section (repetory = continuous playing) songs is like this.

1st song: 4b
2nd song: 5b
3rd song: 6b

Heck, I died at that 6b song but I managed to pull through.



Example of all the club badges in one avenue. Area 1 is ridiculously easy ^^



Area 7 is the last area. I'm now at area 5 and I'm dying - -"



Moving through avenues. I'm at rock fest! ^^
----

-4bfx mode

I'd comment it as the toughest button mode evah. nao.[Well I didn't tried 8b yet hahahaha.] You play with the normal 4 buttons, with additional L and R buttons heck I tried Oblivion [Lv7 song] and I breaked like mad - -"

so...4bfx ain't easy. But maybe it could be easy for 8b players? I can't confirm that though.

-2b mode

Yay to 2button mode!!!! Hahahaha. Well basically you play 2 buttons with the analog. It's not really that easy as it seems. Rhythm still applies, where sometimes massive of buttons come crashing down on you. But it's really fun! ^^"

-Analog craziness

To people who doesn't really love analog spinning in DJ Max, well, good luck to you. Almost every song I play have tons of analog crashing down in series with the buttons! Talk about busy fingers. So...this time the difficulty of the songs is so much more than DJ Max portable 2.

-Fevers? Life bar? Auto? Where is it?!
Well, now...you can't get x5 fever straightaway. When you start the first club, you gained yourself a x3 fever effect. Equip it, and you can get x3 fever MAX. If you want x5 fever, you have to play through quite a number of clubs to get it. There's auto attain x5 fever, which saves you the time to press x. Which is not that good IMHO.

Auto +1? Well, you also must UNLOCK that through club battles. Increased life bar? Ditto. So mainly, no more mirror, random (I don't see that yet.) Effects are unlocked through club battles. Oh and 1 very new thing! The bar stacks. Meaning if you didn't press x2, the bar would stack and when it's 2 full bars, when you press X, it becomes x3 fever instead of x2. Stacko!

-Levels?
Levels are gone, in come the new ranking. You defeat DJ's in clubs to raise your rank. As you can see, I'm ranked 125 (Still so low wtf).

-Using gold to buy stuffs?
No more babeh! You unlock characters, gears, notes, effects, through clubs and clearing songs.

-Songs?
Sad to say, if you want new songs, it is mandatory to play club mode nao. The new songs is damn nice. As what the game says, "emotional sense", it's a game packed will songs of different emotions. Happy, sadness, despair, blissful, jealousy, etc.
And the songs is damn nice and sometimes too emo hahaha. But I love it.

-Recommended?
Totally. Can't wait for Black Sqaure (:

Labels: Games, Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems, Reviews and Experiences

第一章 - 前奏曲。

不知为何，我总是会想起当时小时候的我们。姐姐，我和阳介，从小就一直在一起，大人们都说我们三人总是形影不离。但是，虽然是三个人，我看得出来，阳介眼里，只有姐姐。每一次若是玩家家酒是，阳介每次都是扮演爸爸的角色，借介每次都是扮演妈妈，而我呢？

每次都是扮演女儿。有一次因为这件事，我和阳介大吵了一架。每次我一想起他给我的理由，我就觉得那只是一个借口。

“因为你比较年轻，怎么可能扮演妈妈呢？因该让星雪姐当妈妈才对！”

但是在我眼里却是。。。

“因为我想要和星雪姐当一对夫妻，所以她因该当妈妈！”

从那天起，虽然每个人都说我们是三人行，但是我却觉得，我们是双人行外加一个人，而那个人就是我。也因为这件事，我非常讨厌单数。每次都觉得，单数单数，好像每次都会多了一个人。觉得那位多出来的，很寂寞。

“我最最最讨厌阳介了！”眼睛睁开，原来又是那个梦。

妈妈的声音从厨房传来，“星律，再不起来的话，就要迟到了！”

心想，“真讨厌，为什么我还是那么的在意阳介呢？我不是已经决定不再喜欢他了吗？”
今天真是一个，讨厌的早晨。

Labels: Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems

Being first is good? Being second would be better? Who knows?
I only rmb fang saying this during sec 4...

"Being second would be better than being first. Because, you know you can still advance to first."

True enough. If you're being the first, the top, how do you know you've improved, or go beyond yourself? Since you can only compete with yourself. Although it's quite agreeable that constantly being first is good.

Being first in everything isn't good. At least that's what I know.

The "first" in "first love", have it's purposes. That's what I know. Without me actually explaining, you should quite understand.

It's the "first", but it doesn't mean that it's your "last" too. So, being first in everything isn't good. Yet, humans still vie for superiority. I wonder why? Maybe because they held the meaning of "first", "best", "top" too strongly?

Yeah, maybe because in Singapore, the mindset of being the top, being the first is very important for LIVING. True enough. You can see it in everyday life.

Like, getting the top in examinations [Be it PSLE, O's, A's Poly, Uni], would get you short popularity, get you all the choices of schools in Singapore, getting top in University, getting first honors, etc, could already net you several interviews from the high-end companies in your area of expertise. Although I'd also give credit to luck, and personal relationships.

Want more example, I could give you more! Actually it's not only happening in Singapore, it's happening worldwide! It's like, celebrities? You know, being the most popular nets you more benefits.

Winning the best *insert* award gains you recognition in the society.

Winning the *insert* medal in the Olympics, would be doing your country proud, but hell yeah, it's still all about winning ain't it?

Although I wouldn't say that I disregard the sportsmanship is still present, and the athletes (sp?) is just trying to break their own record [to tell the truth, I admire them sometimes, giving their best to do their country proud.]

But really, when "winning" is being labelled into something, it just seems that everyone is just doing their best to win, and it doesn't sounds patroic (sp?) or anything good. I know winning is good, but when it starts to go into the unhealthy area, it's bad.

Sometimes, why don't everyone just try to stop and think, is being first, is being the best, is winning, really everything in your life? Why not think, isn't being happy, being blissful, much more important? Why must you be held down by the illusionary term of best, first, etc?

Like a chinese term, whatever you do, there's always someone better than you in that aspect. Argh. Just give it all you have, and you should actually be satisfied already. (Although sometimes the result you get doesn't really make you feel good.)

For me, I'd rather live a happy life! Than being so bothered over the term "first". Sometimes, being "first" can be a bother. A real bother.

So, this message is to yes, if you know it, you. *Shows the best smile I can give*

If you wanna be first, fine, take it.

Not like I give a damn. Since you can't be first, please don't take it out on me you bastard. It's not I who snatched it away from you, it's your inability to take it from yours truly.

So, heed me. Work harder, and please, don't bother me with your little jealousy. Stop bugging me! I think you're too bothered over by being much more...well, to not put it that harshly, inferior than me.

Yes, that's all I can tell ya. Give it your best and be contended already.

Labels: ARGH, Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems

Happy Mooncake Festival!



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Money = Happiness?

Well, I really do ponder about this because I heard JN asking me, "How nice if I'm as rich as *insert here*! Then I can be happy and with no worries!"

Maybe it is true. If I had money, I can do alot or stuffs that I can't do now!

I can travel more often, I can buy stuffs, do stuffs, without having to ponder over it for days/weeks/months before giving up on buying it. I can actually go overseas to get my degree after this diploma without worries. [Actually, I'm now panic over the 3.8GPA for local uni ok?!] I can get a bigger house, bigger room, more books, furnitures!

Most importantly, I wouldn't have to ask money from my parents! Whenever I ask money from them...the guilt hits me. Dunno why.

Hell yeah money does make me feel so happy now. But as what this phrase would say, "Everything has two sides of view." Being rich, to the point of envy, admiration of others, doesn't mean that you could be happy.

Why? Simple. You wouldn't really know friends around you are really friends or not. Oh I've seen alot of cases where...you're rich! I'm friends with ya! You're in a hard patch now, ciao babeh! Since when are you my friend scenarios. Money can't buy love? In this current society, money can buy love. But it isn't really called "love" anymore. When love comes to be involved with monetary issues, it'll be so touchy and....you get the idea that it wouldn't be called "real/true/destiny/fate" whatever.

Yeap. Money has it's pros and cons. But for now, the current state, money = happiness.

Maybe the future it'd be not, but who knows?
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Have you ever felt bad when you did your best in everything, yet sometimes, the result you get back just doesn't felt like "You've really done your best?"

Grr. I'm feeling this everytime I did my best, and I didn't get the results expected.

One example: A.Maths. I did so much, yet I didn't get the result I wanted. Damn it. Everytime I get back A.Maths paper I always feel so depressed. Because I know I give it my best, yet my best is just like that. Borderline.

But nevertheless, I felt happy that I got B3 for my O's. Rawr. I almost wanted to strangle myself when I get B3 for E.Maths. WTH can. I feel more depressed when I see the TPJC students maths result. I'm the only one with B3 for A.Maths and E.Maths. The rest is either A2/A1. WTF. It's that point where I realised I'm in a place where I shouldn't be in. I've stepped into a wrong territory. It's like a Lvl 20 char stepping into a Lvl 70 area. Total mismatch.

The standard doesn't suits me. I can only score A's for chem in there. And it's sadistic that I am a know-it-not-all when using graphical calculator. Others use 5mins to complete one question, I need 30minutes just to know how to use that fucking calc.

Oh please let me be smarter in using gc.

I hate itttttttt. Give me the expected results when I tried my best. Argh. Maybe it's this characteristic that makes me feel bitter when I see geniuses around me. Ok la not bitter, but more of a, "I know you're smart but please stop the oh-I'm-high-and-mighty-and-better-than-all-of-you attitude."

I can't stand these type of people. Just makes me feel like strangling them over and over again until they vomit white stuff out and their eyes pop-out.

Oh well. I've vented my frustrations.

I've also decided on one colour. Light brown, or maybe a little dark red?

Labels: Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems

To my dearest:

I know that I won't get to see you anymore, but I still wrote this letter. When you left me, do you know that my whole world crashed? It just broke into little pieces in an instant.

I still remember how you asked me out. You asked me out, during Christmas. The way you run towards me, the way you panted while talking to me, the way you looked, the deep and sincere voice you used...I still remembered it vividly, as if it just happened yesterday.

We always share our problems. Even though if we quarelled, it'd work out perfectly fine in the end.

I still remembered the way you hugged me. It feels so warm, the genuine warmth you gave me.

The day finally came. You proposed to me, with the most weird method ever. There's no ring at all! All you did, is just say this two words abruptly. "Marry me." At that moment, I said yes. I know why.

Even though there's no ring, there's no romantic dinner, there's no touching words, just that plain two words, I know that it's full of your feelings, your sincerity, your love.

Everyone said that we're destined to be together. I don't like destiny. It has never brought anything good to me. Even though if it's something good, it only lasts temporarily. It is always like this.

But, I decided to trust destiny for once, since it brought me something that I've never wished for, yet it's something that's better that what I'd wish for. You. You light up my life, made me believe in happiness, believe in love.

Yet, why?! Why would they take you away!

We've just started our lives together for 3 years, and they took you away. The day that you stopped breathing, it seems like it would never happen. Yet it did. The day of your funeral, I did not shed any tears. Others said that I was unfeeling, but it isn't true. You don't need to cry to feel sad. Real sadness is, crying inside.

Everyday became dull to me. Everything in the house reminds me of you. Everywhere I go, I remembered you. How I wished that you were by my side. Yet, you're gone. I don't even know whether you are beside me, guarding me.

If you are, give me a sign. I'm waiting.

There's no sign at all. I've tried living, but what is living worth for without you being there with me?

I've decided. I've already given up on living. If living is such a torment, why do I continue to do so? If anyone finds this letter, I'm sorry that if my leaving have caused you grief. Because, when you left, the grief is unbearable.

My hope is being diminished. Nothing is worth living anymore. It just seems like I'm the only one grieving. It just makes me feel that in the world, I'm just a small person. The world does not grief, it goes on turning, like nothing had happened. It just seems like no one cares.

So, I'm leaving to join you. Even though I don't know whether would I see you, but I'm willing to take this gamble. Since living has no meaning, I'd take the risk.

Sorry, to those who cared for me, but please do not grief. If I had lived anymore, I'd turn insane someday. While I'm still sane, please let me do what I think is right.

Thank you, to those who took care of me, I've get to meet him because of you people.

This is my final goodbye. I'm leaving.

Claire

-----------------------------------------------

Doodle.

Labels: Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems

Free Tarot Reading

Found this webbie a few days ago. Decided to ask one question, although the tarot is randomly chosen, but for me, it's quite accurate. 60%, I should say.

So I'm gonna share one of the question I asked, in the past, present, future format. The question is about...*you guess*

(:

Here's the results...Just gonna cut out the impt parts...cause it's quite long.

Six of Cups - Past

Just for now, leave the worries of the world behind. Live fully in the present. Even a few moments of such deep ease can seep into and change your life. If you are not experiencing the joy promised in the Six of Cups, you might look to your memories for such a time. In fact, this is traditionally the card of nostalgia, looking back on happier days.

The High Priestess - Present

The High Priestess invites you to come to a place of stillness, receptivity, and self-awareness. Trust your inner oracle, for the knowledge you seek is within.

Temperance - Future

Temperance often brings the message of a need for physical or spiritual healing. Creative self-expression through art may be just the right medicine!

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Ok, past is quite true, in fact. Totally true. Present, stillness, true. It's just asking me to follow my heart isn't it? But doesn't everyone follow their heart in everything they do? As for the future, it doesn't bode well. But, the future is for me to find out though.

Try it if you dare, since I think it's quite accurate even if you don't think too hard about the question. I just thought of one and immediately clicked it. Turns out to be quite accurate :3

Labels: Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems

The end. Is it really the end?

The artist of this picture says...

"If it's the end of the world, what would you do?"

What would you do?

For me, I'll just sit and wait. (: Enjoying everything around me to the last, till the end comes.

"The End, might be just the beginning of a new story. Every meeting would eventually end up in parting, yet after every parting, we would be welcomed by a new meeting with someone. Nothing really ends. Every end, comes a new beginning. Yet every beginning, would end someday. This cycle, will never change."

-> I just started cabal again. Thank god this laptop is able to play. I forgot my FA stats...plus Mercury and Venus is so crowded...I decided on Mars, lvl 10 wiz now..

Labels: Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems

Continued from...

It isn't really a nice sentence to say to someone, it's totally rude! But I still remember it vividly. Since it's what that started us off being together.

I cursed my bad luck for meeting such a guy. "Guys are just so stupid."

"Hey, not all guys are like that", a familiar voice said.

"Gast, you should've see his attitude before saying that." I retorted.

"You mean you don't know who that guy is?"

"No."

"Oh my, you sure aren't well informed. That guy appears on the news very often. He's the son of the Pristo company, Alexander. This guy excels in sports, studies, and most important, at the age of 17, he's already prepared to take over the company." Gast said.

"Well, now I get it. He's a rich, spoiled brat of some high class family." I smirked.

"Well, better not get mixed with him. He's bad news." Gast said with a smile.

However, things don't go well. When I entered the class, what I saw is...

That guy.

How bad can my luck go? I thought.

Yet I never knew...

TBC
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Hey!!! Both are important you know T_T but I prefer dardar more (:

Labels: Personal Opinions/Stories/Poems