Today...finally get to work...as in...studying. Went to Burger King at night...to study until about 10.30pm...where the lights went off. While studying, suddenly got one grp of people come in...shout shout laugh laugh...I chao irritated la...have to turn my music to max, den still can hear. Although I know that studying in fast food restaurant got some noise is unavoidable de...but at least...be considerate lar! (Note: I studied when there isn't that much people ok?)

Stand their noise till 10.30pm lor...den they still nvr leave. I den go le, since so late liaos.

Went home, mum told me that my room is infested with red ants. How am I going to sleep peacefully with ants crawling in my room?! More irritation.

And for the past few days, thought about all the opinions my frens gave. And I came to this conclusion :

Since I would not get her love, it's just an unrequited love, which there is no way it will change...unless there's a miracle.
And, there's quite alot of benefits for being single (Look at the April issue of Teens Magazine), therefore, what's the rush?
Hence, I decided to realli totally let go...and let this be a part of my memory...a bittersweet memory, where nobody would be able to meddle with it.

Now I do wonder, is something that is going to disappear, the same as something that do not exist in the first place?

No doubt there would be pain, no doubt there will be sadness. But when I look back, it's just an experience where I have gained, that might help me someday...somewhere...sometime.

Would I realli find a way back into love? I wonder...


Now I'm listening to this song: Story of The Year - Anthem of Our Dying Days. Thanks roro for sending me this =) (And giving me huggies) Thx thx! Here's the lyrics :

The stars will cry
The blackest tears tonight
And this is the moment that I live for
I can smell the ocean air
And here I am
Pouring my heart onto these rooftops
Just a ghost to the world
That's exactlyExactly what I need
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
For a second I wish the tide
Would swallow every inch of this city
As you gasp for air tonight
I'd scream this song right in your face
If you were here
I swear I won't miss a beat
Cause I neverNever have before
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
Of our dying day
Of our dying day
Of our dying!!!
For a second I wish the tide
Would swallow every inch of this city
And you gasp for air tonight!!
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day
Our dying day
Of our dying!!!

Labels: Daily Rants

Woke up very very early today...which is...11am! =p, had breakfast...than bathed and rushed out to meet rilynn, dang, mt and chan (Small Biatch =p) Was second to reached, saw rilynn reading the book I lent her...den she told me that she read till 5am. -_-"

Den dang arrived, followed by mt and chan, same as always, stood till Outram Park, took another train to Harbour Front (Guessed it, Vivo City!). After alighting, the girls were as usual, ai mei together =.="

Walked around, and I saw the TPJC Second Orientation Event In-Charge guy...such a small world la. Walked around with mt to find the shop where you can make bears. Then went to Carls Junior to have lunch. Then rilynn asked chan whether did she stead with Eber anot. Weird. Chan immediately say no with a shocked face. It is very funny. At this point, I am starting to get emo. =x

After buying the set meal, sat down and eat the burger, den the guy next table to me did pierce his ears, so went to ask rilynn pierce which side means gay/straight. Asked too loud, den think the guy heard it...so embarassing la.

After that, rilynn took my digital cam to anyhow take pictures. Escorted chan to the make a teddy shop. She say that no nd to make a teddy for her, cos her mum complain that there's too much things in the house le. Walked around, went to the Big Bookshop, saw this Seventeen magazine that hooked my interest. Then chan say she's gonna lend me. Thanks =)

After that, cos dang meeting her parents, den chan aso, rilynn going home to do things...(Dunno what things la.) Therefore, mt and me decided to watch movie. Called Jun Hui along, sat the mrt with rilynn all the way to Tampines, where we talked about all things la. Rilynn commented that I should not have that mindset.

When we reached, walked in both Tampines Mall and Century Square to see got what movie, on the way, talked about alot of things. I meant realli ALOT. Decided to watch Happily Never After at Century Square. Met up with Jun Hui, walked around, went to see handphones. After that, walked to McDonalds to have a drink.

After that, had dinner at Teppenyaki Express, den went to the Arcade to have fun. However, still cannot break the photohunt high score. Watched Happily Never After. I dun recommend this movie, as it is short, and most of all, you might have to endure the endless kicking from the children behind you when they're excited. Almost turned back and scold the children.

After the movie, went home, went online...played pangya...chatted with nini, resu and blame =) Thanks for those advices and hearing about my problems =) Love ya ppl~ After that, nini went off first. Chatted with dQx awhile...but it seems like she's realli busy. >.<"

Logged off pangya, went to watch TV, den now blogging what happened between these two days. Think gonna stop here le...tomorrow going to Jun Hui's house to play mahjong xD...

P.S: Grats mal for appealing success! Hope to see ya soon in TPJC =)

It's time to leave the shadows of the past, and walk into the light of the future...it's really time to move on...

Should I find a way back into love? Should I just leave things as it be? Should I just leave, in fear of being hurt again?

There are moments where I dunno what is real, I just go with my feel...I need inspirations, not jus another negotiation...

In the end...the onli person being hurt is...myself.

I'm just plain afraid of hurting myself again...

And now I know...Love is just...pain.

Labels: Daily Rants

Yesterday went to the Science Centre with rilynn, mt, dang and fang...on the train journey there, stand until leg so pain la. Finally, reached Jurong East, den walked there. On the way dere, fang told me that when she heard that she's gonna b an assistant teacher, she immediately went to read the chinese books that she have, but...after awhile, she decided to stop reading, until it's nearer to the time where she need to start her work.

Oh...and I lent rilynn the two books I borrowed from the library. Reached the Science Centre, got a guy wanna offer us $5 each to bring us into the Science Centre, since he could onli bring 4 ppl in, so I went to bought a ticket. I bought the ticket for...onli $3. Sad lor =p

Went around the Science Centre, realli changed alot since the last time I went there, there's this new I-Future thingy...where we know more about Infocomm Technology...den played catching at the top, the bridge so fun, u step once, a wave of colours come out...<(^_^<)

After that, went out of the Science Centre after walking all the section, den went to the nearby shopping mall to have our "dinner", den while going home, we sat to Boon Lay first, so as to have seats available. Sat all the way back to Simei, on the journey...almost slept, but watched fang play the roller coaster game. I tried twice, but crash so easily ._."

Went home, chatted with rilynn, got emo for awhile, den relaxed le...keep on think about some problems...till 5am, still couldn't think of an answer, but suddenly...I had a thought...that lead me to the decision I made. Slept.

Letting go, is a way of moving on.

Labels: Daily Rants

Yesterday went to dang house to have fun...(naruto!)...due to them lacking of foolscap paper...I had to bring it there too lols =x

Reached there, saw Karilynn tutoring dang, den after the tutoring, played naruto while waiting for fang to come...den when she arrived, continued to play naruto until it is late at night, den went to the nearest coffee shop to have dinner...after that, actually we decided to watch Hana Kimi through dang's comp, but due to the loading speed, we decided not to watch and left her house...den due to me having not negative amount on cash on my ez-link card, had to walk to Tampines MRT to reload my ez-link card.

On the way, went to Tampines Regional Library to search for some books. Couldn't find the book I Believe You by Low Kay Hwa, hence decided to borrow his other two books, You Are Here and Destiny Cries. After that, went to take the MRT back to Simei after topping up my ez-link card.

Went home, went online and decided to scan my computer, and found out that I have 12 viruses man! Luckily found it earlier, deleted all of them...phew~

Woke up quite late today...and lay on the bed to read the whole book of You Are Here...the ending is very sad...why must this story end with a tragedy? How I wished that it is a happy ending...decided to read the other book soon. Having lunch now...so stopping here! Cyaz!

Once upon a time, a boy meets a girl, the boy falls in love with the girl...but the girl...

Why much such a bittersweet relationship end up as a tragedy, and not a happily ever after? Life seems to trick us everytime...

And this makes me wonder...is there realli a happily ever after in this world?

I wonder...

Labels: Daily Rants

Woke up so early, and reminded myself alot of times that the holidays are over, and it's time to get back to the normal school life. Hahas...almost late for school, lucky dad drove me to TPJC. Went in, and checked my OGs...and I'm in Capt. Hook again...-.-" Walked to the hall, saw Zhiying, did not expect her to enter TPJC...thought that she would go to a better jc hahas.

After that, saw Kenny, chatted with him awhile and went to my OG, the 2nd Orientation is kind of better, as the OGLs are aso J1 students, therefore interaction is much more easier. Talked to a guy, his name is Yi Zhao...hahas, den the OGLs say that both of us look alike...both of us just replied : "Where got?"...it's just so comical larrs.

After National Anthem, sat down and listen to the talks and lectures for a total of two hours. My legs are cramping after sitting for that long. Finally reached break, loitered around the hallway after buying a can of coffee (I need caffine.) and a cheese sandwich (Which the cheese is so salty. I wonder why.) Walked walked, went to check the names of the ppl entering TPJC, unexpectedly, saw alot of my pri sch classmates names hahas.

Went back to the hall and read Shakugan no Shana book two while waiting for my OGs ppl to come back. Started the lectures of Theatre Studies and Drama, followed by China Studies in English. After that, we reached the subject consultation session, where I finally get to walk around! Went to find Kenny, den we walked to find Jillian, then we chatted awhile before walking to find Atikah, where she is jus so surprised to see us in TPJC. I wonder why hahas.

After that, I saw Ting Ci in the hall, she said why I never pass her the Ouran High Host Club comics hahas. I told her because I nvr came for...two months? So I just lent her the Shakugan no Shana book two, and if she likes it, I will lend her book one two hehs. Did some cheers before going for lunch break. After that, sneaked out of TPJC with Wahidah, as the TPJC orientation is jus way too similar. Saw Shem and Rachel, chatted awhile until when their bus reached, walked home after buying my lunch and had a hilarious phone call from Gabriel and Pang Cheng.

When reached home, felt not that well, and went to sleep. Time passes...when I woke up, I was shivering all over and felt that the whole world is spinning. Went to see the doc after that. Took some medicines, went home and went online for awhile. Chatted with Rilynn, showed her the site where guys got scared away by girls in mIRC, chatted with Pang Cheng, asking him whether did he receive the CCSS invitation to Speech Day, den he said he never open his letterbox...=.=" den Karilynn told me that she revamped her blog. Which is too plain for my TASTE. PLAIN.

After commenting on her blog, watched Shakugan no Shana anime, and now I'm currently listening to this song by S.H.E - Wo Men Zen Me Le...here're the lyrics =)

落泪以前再看一眼
你模糊侧脸
这会不会是最后纪念
我凝视你而你凝视
窗外的阴天
一句抱歉都僵在嘴边
我搞不懂
我们到底怎么了
诚实的背后
是否
住着伤口
我想不透
我们的爱怎么了
雨下过以后
是否
能让什么
复活

你的笑脸还在胸前
晃动着昨天
为何回忆会让人晕血
如果我们继续向前走进雨里面
会不会有溶解的危险
我搞不懂
我们到底怎么了
诚实的背后
是否
住着伤口
我想不透
我们的爱怎么了
雨下过以后
是否
能让什么
复活

明明从前
连真挚都很甜美
现在怎会
说句话就能肿一边
我搞不懂
我们到底怎么了
诚实的背后
是否
住着伤口
我想不透
我们的爱怎么了
雨下过以后
是否
能让什么
复活

The lyrics might be quite long...so please bear with it ne...thanks dQx for grats me ne...kiwi here says thanks! keke. Gonna stop here, so late le...plus having headache...cyaz!

Labels: Daily Rants

Got back my posting results...yea...I'm jus fated to be in Tampines JC (Science)...kinda have mixed feelings in me at that moment. Kinda felt happy that I'm in a JC, but...Kinda felt down when I can't go into MJC...so got some weird thoughts of going to TP if I can't enter MJC...weird ne?

Went to MJC with mum, filled the appeal form...den the receptionist there keep on repeat "Do you know that our cut off points is 10?" Yes yes...I know, can you just stop repeating it to hurt my pride? I still have my pride and dignity okay?! =.=" After appealing, went to Century Square to buy Delifrance food to make myself feel better. Bought the Kon (Bleach) handphone strap and Shakugan no Shana book 2 (Thanks nini for intro such a nice anime/manga)

Went home, wonder should I just choose to appeal to poly instead (I'm so into marketing.) ponder...decided to just go to Burger King and do some TPJC notes update to escape reality awhile. Saw Yann Chang there, chatted awhile, and found out that he decided to sign a bond with the Army?! Wow. Pro man. Did some Physics and Maths. Continue chatting with Yann Chang, den while chatting halfway, OPC called. I asked him who got into TPJC. I recieved the biggest shock of the day. Oh wells. Both of them laughed at my reaction. They still say it is fated to be. God...

Went home, chat with Si Yuan..Tammie, and Rilynn. Multi tasking! Thanks for the chat Si Yuan. You kind of made me feel better =) Helped tammie with her maths, she had a test tmr, relax and do well! Read Blame's blog archive, found a link to a storybook. Intro to Rilynn. Both of us felt that it is veri touching. =) Gonna find that book in Regional Libraries (Due to them leaving 3 chpts off, need to buy to know the ending). Alot of thoughts went through my mind after reading the story.

I admit that I like you, but I don't think you know,
If you know, why are you reacting so normal?
I'm kinda sad, do you even remember the bet?
I think I would just stay beside you, hoping that you would be happy...

Oh well, jus thinking out loud. Don't mind it hor. Currently listening to Stacie Orrico - (There's Gotta Be) More to Life...here's the lyrics.

I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go

[Chorus]
There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well there's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching
For something that is missing

[Repeat Chorus]

i'm wanting more
I'm always waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed.....

[Repeat Chorus x2]

I agree with this song, there's more to life than sadness. Maybe..it's high time that I move on?..I wonder...

Gonna stop bloggin nw, tomorrow have to report to TPJC early in the morning, cyaz!

Labels: Daily Rants