立ち止まらない この針だけは Only this clock-hand would pierce through,
僕の明日を刻む音突き刺す the sound that engraved my tomorrows, unable to stop.
真実から逃げたら今 If I escape from the truth right now,
現実にも負けたら今 if I would even give up on reality right now,
何が残るの? just what would be left behind?
Nuffnang
Profile
Alias: Yuuki, Haru, Akihiko, Venskye
Name: ZH (:
Age: 21
Information
This blog is meant to be full of my rants, daily happenings and stuffs like that. Occasional reviews, stories, and opinions. It's my open, unfinished story.
Desires
->Graduate with more than 3.5 GPA. ->Best way to release stress. ->Shut out all depressing thoughts.
->God of War 3 ->Castlevania: Lord of Shadow Limited Edition ->DJ Max Portable 3 Limited Edition ->Assassins Creed: Brotherhood Collectors Edition ->New Renoma Leather Wallet ->Crumpler Bag (Black or Red) ->1TB External Hard Disk
Not again, I'm experiencing sleepless nights again! This is so irritating. I wanna sleep, yet I kept on rolling on the bed, and yet I can't sleep. Decided to blog awhile then >_> Since rolling on bed is in vain.
Read this quote in a manga, yet I went to find awhile and found the originator of the quote (supposedly).
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. - Elie Wiesel.
Woots. I think I understand!
Assuming everyone knows what indifference means, this quote is quite true.
The opposite of love, most of us think that it's hate. But actually, it isn't hate. Indifference is the opposite of love. When you hate someone, it's because you cared for this person before, or actually took notice of this person, that's why you'd hate that person.
Yet for indifference, you wouldn't even notice this person, or even have any feelings towards this person.
I aspire to become a indifferent person. Maybe...hahaha.
Ergh. The raspberry blackcurrant sourness, I still can sense it.
Okay, now at starbucks doing some translation stuffs for my own usage (:
And, the raspberry blackcurrant frap is not really nice for my taste. Sour (..) Got my audiotechnica headphones xD damn ex, money fly *screams* But it's worth it~ Now listening to music is so much of a pleasure, last time when using earphones, the thing keeps on dropping. Rawrrrrr.
Bought Nabari no Ou Manga. Seems interesting. xD
And now Phad is playing my iTouch reversi o.o" I didn't know he's that good at it.
Ooo. I'm better at Japanese now, although the hiragana still sucks for me =)
Gonna stop already, if not I'll keep on rant on and on and on and on and stop.
oh. My pangya skills seems to be gone ._. Maybe it's because I haven't touched it since June.
Why must both of you argue that much? Don't you think that it is ridiculous? Don't you understand what it means by noise? chaos? disruption? I can't take it anymore?
Now I finally understands what it meant by "I don't want to go home."
Cause, I don't WANT TO GO HOME.
Going home means like going to war, rather than home.
How I wished that home is home, and not a battleground.
Recently I'm getting flared up easily. I guess this is what it means by...
I wonder how can you say that you understand me, while I don't even understand myself well enough to say that?
I wonder why are you so confindent, so sure about what you know, and don't know about me?
Here I am thinking, when you stopped breathing, doesn't it mean that you're dead? Why would we even need death certificates? To certify out death? With just a paper? Isn't that silly?
And here I am, thinking about such stuffs again.
Maybe I'm just not suited to be in the happy area. It makes me feel bad that, you're treating me so kind, when I don't know how to repay you.
Maybe that's why I don't want to get too close...
When I'm still confused.
When I'm still immature.
When I'm still not myself yet.
Where had the old me went to? The current me, is the one who I didn't want to become. -------------------------------------------------------------------- It's said that there's 3 types of people who keeps secret.
The type who wants to say the secret out, yet can't.
The type who don't want to reveal their secrets within them because it would release all the memories that they don't want to remember.
The type who wants someone to ask them, to enable them to share their secrets. ---------------------------------------------------------------------
I know that I won't get to see you anymore, but I still wrote this letter. When you left me, do you know that my whole world crashed? It just broke into little pieces in an instant.
I still remember how you asked me out. You asked me out, during Christmas. The way you run towards me, the way you panted while talking to me, the way you looked, the deep and sincere voice you used...I still remembered it vividly, as if it just happened yesterday.
We always share our problems. Even though if we quarelled, it'd work out perfectly fine in the end.
I still remembered the way you hugged me. It feels so warm, the genuine warmth you gave me.
The day finally came. You proposed to me, with the most weird method ever. There's no ring at all! All you did, is just say this two words abruptly. "Marry me." At that moment, I said yes. I know why.
Even though there's no ring, there's no romantic dinner, there's no touching words, just that plain two words, I know that it's full of your feelings, your sincerity, your love.
Everyone said that we're destined to be together. I don't like destiny. It has never brought anything good to me. Even though if it's something good, it only lasts temporarily. It is always like this.
But, I decided to trust destiny for once, since it brought me something that I've never wished for, yet it's something that's better that what I'd wish for. You. You light up my life, made me believe in happiness, believe in love.
Yet, why?! Why would they take you away!
We've just started our lives together for 3 years, and they took you away. The day that you stopped breathing, it seems like it would never happen. Yet it did. The day of your funeral, I did not shed any tears. Others said that I was unfeeling, but it isn't true. You don't need to cry to feel sad. Real sadness is, crying inside.
Everyday became dull to me. Everything in the house reminds me of you. Everywhere I go, I remembered you. How I wished that you were by my side. Yet, you're gone. I don't even know whether you are beside me, guarding me.
If you are, give me a sign. I'm waiting.
There's no sign at all. I've tried living, but what is living worth for without you being there with me?
I've decided. I've already given up on living. If living is such a torment, why do I continue to do so? If anyone finds this letter, I'm sorry that if my leaving have caused you grief. Because, when you left, the grief is unbearable.
My hope is being diminished. Nothing is worth living anymore. It just seems like I'm the only one grieving. It just makes me feel that in the world, I'm just a small person. The world does not grief, it goes on turning, like nothing had happened. It just seems like no one cares.
So, I'm leaving to join you. Even though I don't know whether would I see you, but I'm willing to take this gamble. Since living has no meaning, I'd take the risk.
Sorry, to those who cared for me, but please do not grief. If I had lived anymore, I'd turn insane someday. While I'm still sane, please let me do what I think is right.
Thank you, to those who took care of me, I've get to meet him because of you people.
To those who dunno what is UFO Catcher (I rmb seeing that name somewhere), it's usually available in arcades, where u use a claw to catch plushies. (Which I find IMHO, they make the claws too loose, so that you can't catch the plushies easily.)
I remember watching HnC Jap live drama version. Hagu said something that sounds really true. In my perspective, it sounds sad too.
The item you want, is just infront of you. Yet you can't get it. Because there's something obstructing you. You can only get it by trying to.
It's really sad. The thing's just only infront of you, and you can't get it. You can try, but will you ever get it? No one knows.
I'm turning colder day by day.(Not body temp related.)
I don't want to find happiness anymore. Neither sadness.
I just want to be contended. Feelings doesn't matter anymore.
Woo woo! I remembered Groove Adventure Rave 2nd opening. RAWKS MAN....damn it.
It's my all time fave anime other than the...Shin Hakkenden. xD
I totally dig this 2nd opening. COOL!
Sigh. Why they dunwan continue!! The story don't stop there. It just starts to turn exciting.
Money is the ROOT of all PROBLEMS. And the problems it caused is not small..
CATASTROPHIC.
A hypothetical question.
When everything you believed in crumbles, what do you believe in? What do you hold onto?
My answer:
When everything I believed hard in crumbles, I don't believe in anything, or anyone ever. I have nothing to hold onto at first, what more do I want something to hold on? xD
Went to watch this movie with dang, rilynn, fang and phad. It's nice, graphics, sound and all, but the best actor in that movie, to me.
Is Joker. No doubt about it. Psychotic enough to play with other people minds, curshing their spirit. Turning a good guy into a bad one.
This movie is really interesting, it makes you think, who is the right one? The villians, or the heroic? It depends on which perspective you look from.
Lol! This post is done using my touchie! Did not expect that I'd be able to blog...guess technology sure is amazing. But it sure takes a longer time. But with this, I could blog anytime I want as long as there is Internet connection. Ok, gotta go...ciao!
*Touch* *touch* *touchtouch!*
Saturday, July 26, 2008 @ 11:20 PM
Ok, touch! That's all for today. (:
Tomorrow watching movie~
I sound so deep now >_>"
Oh! I saw jh and cs! xD
We're all trapped in a maze of relationships Life goes on with or without you I swim in the sea of the unconscious I search for your heart, pursuing my true self
It seems like someone is rubbing salt onto my sore throat. Hurts like mad, can't even sleep. Float Crawled out of my bed twice just to get a cup of water. Took two lozenges(sp?) instead of one which the doc prescribed. It hurts TOO MUCH.
But it feels better, so I slept peacefully~♪
And I woke up with a WORSE sore throat. So I didn't speak more than 10 sentence for the whole day. You know, 养声是很重要的！ It's a human's way to directly voice out their frustrations! [I think that's the only thing talking does?] =p
Yay. 唐心风暴 finish alr. Meaning, 9pm slot is mine muahahahahahahaha.
In the end, mum still wanna buy mp3~♪
I'm getting iTouch tmr~♪
Yatta~♪
Oh. P4 is one hella fun game. Defeat Kanji's shadow.
Yousuke - A gigantic frog with some ninja on top of it? Chie - Masked monster with 3 schoolgirls lifting it? Yukiko - A caged bird who summons her prince (Which looks uber ugly IMHO) Kanji - Muscular guy, with two male symbol as weapon, surrounded by Roses and Vines?! with two muscular guys.
Next up...Rise. Trust me. Her shadow is a POLE DANCER
Apparently, because these few days...My mum sprained her leg, me getting fever, sis having flu, almost the whole household is down with illness. No one is opening the letterbox.
Apparently, my mum felt better today, so she went down to open it.
Apparently, my persona 4 package is IN the letterbox.
Lazy postman! So meaning, while I thought that it is missing, it is apparently sleeping in my letterbox along with a bunch of letters.
>_>"
Ok, so I haven't been able to try it because of some stuffs happening with the tv. Lol. Mum wanna record shows. xD
Maybe will try it later. You know, I must violate the new game so it's not virgin anymore try the game see fun anot. (:
Ok, after this sentence, it's going to be a whole chunk of words full of angst.
Be warned. You've been warned.
Ok, here goes nutting. I know that you are strapped of cash. And you need to return people money. But you know, what's the first thing you'd do when you're strapped of cash.
The first thing that comes to your mind would be, borrow from others! (Ok that's totally lame.)
Second thing would be naturally, look for work.
But apparently, when people introduce work to you, you give alot of excuses.
E.G: Janitor E.G rep: What if my friends see me, damn paiseh, dunno what to say to them.
EXCUSE ME? EXCUSE ME?! What's with the DAMN PAISEH.
If you dun have money, WOULD YOU EVEN FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOUR PRIDE AND DIGNITY ANOT?! DICKNITY INSTEAD PLEASE.
And you know, you owe people 4.5k, not 45 cents or $4.50.
Yes, my mum is your relative, she's supposed to help you. But, we're financially troubled too. Bills are stacking too. What about the monthly expenses? And you even steal cash from dad? Wow. AMAZING.
And since you asked my mum to borrow that amount of cash for you, you should also be responsible. When people ask you to find a job, PLEASE FIND. NOT GIVING SUCH LAME EXCUSES.
So now, people are asking that money back, all you can give my mum is what?
Nothing.
Practically NOTHING.
So my mum is kind of forced to fork out the 4.5k.
And what you DID.
YOU DID NOT EVEN SHOW ANY REMORSE.
ARE YOU EVEN A HUMAN? YOU DON'T FEEL GUILTY AT ALL?
OR ARE YOU ALREADY PLANNING TO ASK MY MUM TO FORK OUT THE CASH FOR YOU.
IF YOU'RE CASH STRAPPED, WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO EVEN SLEEP?
DON'T YOU THINK THAT YOU'VE ALREADY CAUSED ENOUGH TROUBLE?
DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU'VE CAUSED THE FAMILY UNREST?
SCREAMING,SHOUTING EVERYDAY?
MY DAD MOOD IS GETTING WORSE EVERYDAY?
AND YOU PRACTICALLY SHOW NO REMORSE?
I know that you're my elder, I should not actually say this...
But hello? WAKE UP. YOU OWE PEOPLE MONEY, YOU SHOULD BE AT LEAST RESPONSIBLE, OR SHOW A LITTLE REMORSE, EVEN A 3 YEAR OLD KID KNOW HOW TO SAY "SORRY" AND "THANK YOU" RIGHT?
I know you've taken care of us, but enough is enough.
GET A JOB PLEASE.
I don't even dare to ask for an ipod touch now. My mum practically is in a bad mood 200%. She even screamed at my sis for something small yesterday.
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO THIS HOUSEHOLD.
WHERE IS THE PEACEFUL HOUSEHOLD WHERE I ONCE LIVED IN?
I just woke up awhile, and now you want me to go back to sleep? That's plain unreasonable. How can you expect someone who just woke up, to go back to sleep again.
Been sleeping since 1pm, till now. And my dad wants me to go back to sleep.
It's for my own good, but I just can't get to sleep!
Ok. Watchinb nabari no ou. Ninjitsu rawks.
My body temp is weird.
Morning : 37.9 Clinic : 36.8 >_>" Home : 37.5 After nap : 38.4 Now : 37.7
Just finished reading 恶魔在身边 in onemanga. Decided to watch the taiwan ver tmr. Since I forgot to watch it when it is being aired on tv. Sigh. I watched one episode on tv though...seems quite funny.
Rawr. Heard that alot of nice animes are coming...ero,comedy,yuri!
Most importantly, Lucky Star OVA and SKIP BEAT(OMG FINALLY BEING ANIME-lised) is coming! <3
Now reading Sayonara Zetsubo Sensei. Seems quite funny. A guy who's always finding ways to die, had to cope with his class of students with problems.
Redo!
Monday, July 21, 2008 @ 6:50 PM
Dang said I did this before...but out of boredom (Because I can't find Neuro chpt 46-48...) So might as well do this *cough* Having sore throat now. Sigh.
1. Does anyone know your password? Yes.
2. Last thing you ordered at McDonald's Big Mac Meal :3
3. Are you an emotional person? Yes, but trying not to. Being emotional is very tough.
4. Do you like your middle name? Dunno what is middle name...
5. Do you believe in love at first sight? Somehow, it does happen. I think. Semi-believer.
6. Does the person you like know you like them? It's for me to find out, and for them to know, right?
7. What was the last thing you did? Looking at hawt girls in maid costumes? LOL!! (Under someone asking me to find for them, ahem.)
8.What time is it? 6.55PM
9. Who was the last person you ate with? My sis?
10. What song are you listening to right now? 萧潇 - 爱要坦荡荡
11. Whats the weather like? Raining. I love it.
12. Last person who called you? Some unknown fella which I decided not to bother.
13. Last person you gave a hug? Mummy (:
14. Last song you sang? Where Did I Go Right?
15. Do you love anyone? What is love? I don't really understand it yet. It's painful.
16. Lost a friendship over something? Yeah. Everyone should at least experience once to be mature. (*. .)"
17. Last thing you drank? Natural water, sparkling water, plain water. Water.
18. Last thing you ate? Garlic bread frm pizza hut. yum. =3
19. Where do you wish you were? Somewhere there is snow. Falling snow.
20. Faked being sick to miss school? Aeons ago.
21. What time did you wake up today? 1pm
22 . Last person you talked to in person? Mum and dad
23. Last person to make you laugh? My mum. Hahahahahaha.
24. What are you wearing right now? PJs. So cold to bathe. You wan me to die ah! I'm already wrapped up in blankets.
25. Whats the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Do you REALLY want me to answer this? =3
26. Who did you last message? SJ I think. My phone's dead.
27. Who did you last call? Home.
28. What day and date is it? 21st Jul 2008, Monday.
29. Did you go anywhere today? Yes. My room.
30. What did you do there? Again, do you REALLY want me to answer this?
31. How many more years until you're a legal adult? 0.25 years.
32. Are you watching TV? Nope, but the tv's on.
33. Are you mature or immature? Definitely immature. I'm super childish in relationships.
34. Are you closer to your mom or dad? Mum! Definitely. (:
36. What school do you go to? Temasek Poly, Applied Science School.
37. What's the most annoying thing people say to you? For me to know, for you to find out.
38. Do you like music? Yes.
39. Do you want to get married? Maybe.
40. How do you feel? I'm really fine. Thanks for asking.
41. What are you supposed to be doing? Reading.
42. Would you bungee jump? Yes. It's the safest way to try suiciding from jumping down a building, etc.
43. Do you like roller coasters? Never sat one before.
44. Is there anything you wish for every summer? Ice cream everyday would be nice. Mint please ^^v
45. Do you use chopsticks? Yes. Only applicable for noodles.
46. What's your favorite meal of the day? Dessert? Oh, that's not a meal right? Righttttt. Lunch.
47 . Thinking of someone right now? Yeah. Thinking of whacking that person =3
48. Concerned about life right now? If it's my life, yes. Others, prob not.
49. Ever tripped going up the stairs? Not up, but down.
50. What are you looking forward to? DeathThe unknown future? Will it be dreams fulfilled or...?
Singapore post say they can't do anithing without any ref number. So now I'm stuck with not knowing where is my package.
Sigh. Maybe it's in the middle of nowhere, or worse, in the bottom of ocean.
Now I'm sending an email to play-asia.
My mum said. If really dunno where, order again, but this time, PLEASE USE EMS.
And the money is going to be deducted frm my bank acct now ):
A very harsh lesson learnt.
OK on the good side, I've decided on getting ipod Touch. Since I think it'd be years before I change my phone anyways. (: With an audiotechnica headphones. No more dropping earphones anymore! Oh yes!!
P.S : Updated blog song. 爱要坦荡荡! haha. I love that song.
Climbed 228/265 (I suppose) of tartarus with a herd of sucky personas. Sighhh.
My mum, supposedly went to this talk at my sis school, about "controlling kids using computers."
Then she came back and described the whole thing to me. She said that some kiddos played ms until beat their parents up. I think they thought that their parents is some green mushroom or whatsoever monster you can think of. Lol.
Then came about blogging.
Mum: " You know, Eejay (sp?), the person who held that talk, say that dunno wad Xia de... what ah..."
Me: Xiaxue?
Mum: *exclaims* Yaya!!
Me: You dunno her?
Mum: No. First time heard of it. He say that alot of people read her blog ah, den kena influence by her. You got read anot?
Me: Got.
Mum: What?!?! YOU GO READ FOR WAD!
Me: Entertainment. I never kena influence. Relax okayyyyyyy.
And she proceeds on telling me that so many people read XX's blog, den you know those health releated blogs, babycare blogs, only got like 400+ readers. She says that, why people dun read such stuffs on the net.
Seriously, I think rarely teenagers read such things on blogs on the net. o.o"
But nevertheless, dun tell her ba ._."
So my sis went to open XX's blog to let her see.
INSTANT STUN MAN! I TOTALLY LOVE THAT EXPRESSION. (:
Haha. It's funny. I think my mum needs a full update on what's happening on the net, esp. blogosphere.
Mental prisoner suits the name. Taken this pic frm devart. But I forgot who's the person who drew this...really sorry ._."
Today, it's an enjoyable day. Finally get to watch hancock. With Mal and Dang! Omg it's so hard to drag mal out ok.....so honoured! (: Reached home at 12.30pm.
Apparently there's alot of nightcatz. Damn I wonder who would watch a 4am movie. Must b crazy
Lame, and funny. Moral of story : Don't call superheros, (guys: asshole) (girls: crazy). End of story.
No rain to drench on me. Sad.
To dang, you will nevah find that post in my blog. Tough luck in finding it on lj =p
If you want! xD
And final thing.
Bring banana next time. I'll eat it!
Winner : The books.
-There was nothing I could say. I shouldn't have made this choice anyways.-
So I am cheddar cheese. The most widely known cheese >_>"
You are a yellow-orange, rectangle-shaped cheese.(Thank you.)
You are very popular.(You sure about that?!)
You have lots of zip and energy and love to jump around. (I'm lazy and I love to sit down and slack.)
You are sharp and clever, but also sometimes a little stubborn. (I ain't sharp, I'm blunt. I am clever? Who defines that o.o")
So, I think I only accept the clever part ok? =3
Another quiz. From karilynn's blog, but I lazy to post, so here ya go.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Doubutsu-Uranai Test
You are Brown Tiger, who will not bargain about your love affair, or suck up to your boss.
So your words carry a lot of weight.
And your attitude is at ease any where you are, and this creates feeling of security to others.
You are not a shy person, and can clearly state your own opinion to anyone. -I can't believe this >_>"-
This powerful conversational skill tends to be attractive to others.
You also listen to the other person carefully, and can adapt flexibly to situations, by correctly grasping their points.
You dislike getting in unnecessary conflict. -Omg true-
But you possess a strength to not withdraw when the need arise.
If you get too confident over your ability, people may think you pretentious. -I think I understand this point-
You may look as though you are contemptuous to others.
You are quick thinker; you can make quick decisions, and is a person of action.
When the time comes for the need to stand up and act, you will.
You have a face of a theorist. -No.I have a face of bittergourd? =p-
The way you can talk logically persuades other people. -Not really-
Although you are not a smooth operator, you can not act negligently; you are a very responsible person. -Ahem, when am I responsible.-
Although you are a late starter, with experience, you will be able to acquire further insight and self-criticism. -Thank you I love this sentence alot xD-
I've been eating my favourite fruit, the king of fruits, the durain for days.
But come to think of it, I can't die yet!
My P4 still have not arrived yet. Pish off alr. A week. Since they said 5-10 days, if the tenth day arrives and that thing doesn't arrive. I'm really gonna sent a hate mail to play-asia for cheating my feelings :<
Ok, no more durain. Maybe I can die. Sob. I'm now craving for pizza hut drumlets ._."
How nice it is when you can see through what others is thinking deep down inside? What they really wanted to say? Think again...
Featuring this comic book called "My True Secrets" <- Roughly translated at 2am ._."
There's this guy (I'm real sry that I couldn't type chinese using lappy and can't translate ze name into engrish.) Who can see Paradox, which is the image of the true hearts of people. To say, he knows what they actually wanted to say. He could even tell straight the characteristic of the person. However, he didn't think that this is great.
He's practically afraid of crowds because of this. But nevertheless, he would help those people who are in trouble. Basically, I bought this manga because I find the cover interesting. But now, I totally find the story interesting. And the drawings are super cute too. Chibiness xD
Secondly, I went to the library, and this book is the best book evah! I'm learning photoshop now for the sake of fun? (I love cropping heads off and replacing it with certain "non human" heads ok?)
This is certainly the book for me as I.don't.have.photoshop.cs.only.photoshop.elements.
Thirdly, this is a drawing I draw after looking @ at postcard I bought at the cosfest. Cause I find hunny too kawaii xD Chibi rulezzz *rawr*
Lastly, I'm being labelled as a jerk. And I'm uber happy for hours. And I ain't getting sick of it.
And I'm being accused of being "tong sha" (_ _") because of something I said in a spur of boredom.
I wonder, why does people became "A little cranky" when exams are near? It doesn't mean that you can flare at others with no reason, or being quite "unreasonable".
This little part is just a snippet from Persona 3, focusing on the major arcanas.
Whether it is real or not, I dunno. So please, don't FLAME me.
Starting from 0, "The Fool", and 22, "The World". They tell a story in numerical order that is a metaphor of an individual's journey through life. Each major arcana represents a stage on that journey, an experience that the individual must incoporate to realize his oneness.
The first card, numbered 0, is "The Fool". It represents the beginning and suggests infinite possibilities.
The next card, The Magician, represents action and initiative, but also immaturity.
The Priestess represents contemplation and inner knowledge.
The Empress represents motherhood and the life it brings forth.
The Emperor is an opposing card. It represents fathering and relates to leadership and decision making skills.
The Hierophant represents formality and knowledge, and stands for religion.
The Lovers card represents choice. Here, the individual's consciousness has finally surfaced.
The Chariot represents victory for the individual, but only a momentary one.
The Justice represents the knowledge of what is right, and what is wrong.
The Hermit represents the individual's search for answers by looking inward, deep inside his heart.
The Fortune represents fate, and the opportunities that come with it.
The Strength represents both passion and self-control. It is depicted as power with reason.
The Hanged Man reflects the individual's inability to take action.
Spiritual death awaits the individual with the 13th card, which is aptly The Death. Death is considered a transitional card. The old ends, and the new begins.
Now let us continue along the path, following the transition.
The Temperance is the balancing of opposites. Opening his eyes to the world allows the individual to grow.
And as The Devil represents, he then faces temptation.
At The Tower, his values collapse on him. It seems as if he no longer has anything to believe in, but...
He then finds a glimmer of hope, represented by The Star; and he is suffused with a serene calm.
This bliss makes him vulnerable to the illusions of The Moon.
Fears arise, and he follows the dim path in his heart with trepidation...But he is rewarded with a bright future, represented by The Sun, which signifies true achievement.
The Judgement awaits the individual at the end of his journey, as he looks back on the path he has traveled.
The final card is The World, which represents the individual's full awareness of his place in the world.
That is the growth of an individual as explained by the tarot cards.
And this concludes the snippet of the life of someone, explained by the tarot cards.
I'm sucha sucker for Tarot cards and quotes from em. (:
There's another classical quote. Damn it. It's from the final boss of P3. <3
------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The moment man devoured the fruit of knowledge, he sealed his fate. Entrusting his future to the cards, man clings to a dim hope. Yes, the arcana is the means by which all is revealed.
I - Attaining one's dream requires a stern will and unfailing determination.
II - The silent voice within one's heart whispers the most profound wisdom.
III - Celebrate life's grandeur...its brilliance...it magnificence...
IIII - Only courage in the face of doubt can lead one to the answer...
V - It is indeed a precious gift to understand the forces that guide oneself...
VI - There is both joy and wonder in coming to understand one another...
VII - One of life's greatest blessings is the freedom to pursue one's goals.
VIII - To find the one true path, one must seek guidance amidst uncertainty...
IX - It requires great courage to look at oneself honestly, and forge one's own path...
X - Alongside time exists fate, the bearer of cruelty.
XI - Only with strength can one endure suffering and torment.
XII - In the face of disaster lies opportunity for renewal.
XIII - Beyond the beaten path lies the absolute end. It matters not who you are... Death awaits you.
I totally love the last quote.
No matter who you are, in the end, you'll still face Death. There's no escape.
Tired. I slept 12 hours and I am still tired. It has been 4 days. I've been dreaming about weird stuffs for these 4 days, till I'm tired even I slept enough hours. I can even sleep while playing P3. >_>"
Ok, I'm also tired now. These 4 days, I've only been using 50% of my attention ._."
ok, unbelievably, I can still remember what I dreamt about.
First day : Confession to someone I like a few years back, with a shocking reply. Second day : Beating up someone I dun like. -Weird huh.- Third day : Falling from someplace high. -Screamed.- Fourth day : Went to school with a personality totally opposite of me, characteristic too.
I guess I'm too tired to think anymore.
I'm sick of life, I'm sick of everything! ARGH.
Even little things make me irritated now.
I'm being concluded as a jerk! (: I am so happy now.
I love being a jerk you knowww. It's first time fer me. Yesh!
-如果自己无法成熟一点给对方保障 那就甭谈恋爱了.- This hit me the most. (:
Oooo. I heard a nice song by Hilary Duff. It's called...
Where did I go wrong Where did I go right.
Apparently it's from the movie "The Perfect Man". I saw that movie once on HBO. But nevertheless, always can't manage to watch finish bcos of the movie screening time clashing with the shows my mum wanna record.
I'm always too late I see the train leaving I'm always laughing When it's not cool to smile
I'm always aiming But somehow keep missing So how did you get here Something is wrong
[CHORUS:] Where did I go right How did I get you How come all this blue sky is around me And you found me Where did I go right How did I get you I don't know how I did But somehow now I do
I'm always driving Forget where I'm going Should have turned left But I was singing some song And I, I am arriving As everyone's leaving But there you are waiting Something is wrong
[CHORUS]
Makes no sense to me No it isn't clear But somehow you're standing here Something gets to me It's that nothing is wrong
[CHORUS 2X]
-I just seems to go wrong in r/s all the time. When did I ever go right? I'm foolish.-
-6th day. P4 still nt reaching.- -The artbook and the info book has already been shipped.-
Ordered P3 Fanbook and Artbook. I love their artwork xD, I'm suddenly a P3 fan within 3 days. Haha. But their game is super nice, although I hate the monotonus climbing of Tartarus. P.S Tartarus is a tower, which is the one and only main dungeon of the game, consisting of 256 levels. I've already climbed 144 outta 256. Happy!
Ok, sidetracked. The best thing I ate yesterday would be:
The meatballs mum made. It's the first time she fried stuffs. (: And it taste so nice. But I also love the durain pancakes that's currently selling at eastpoint. The durian puffs too! OMG the pancake, when I bite, the durian fillings inside spilled out *enters pure bliss mode* It's small, but there's alot of fillings, and it's only $1.50! Not to mention the durian puffs is nice too xD But it's quite on the expensive side though...$9.80 for 20 puffs.
They're opening for 2 weeks. I'm so gonna enjoy the pancakes and miss it when they're gone. Since I love durians uber much!
Ok, I'm still waiting for Natsume Yuujin-chou.
Stuck at home for weeks, I dun think I'll go to M'sia anytime sooner until P4 arrives.
The shipping said 5-10days, usually on the 5th day they'd arrive, but now it's already the 6th day. ):
Why can't they arrive sooner!!!!
Anyone wanna go to the k-box at e-hub. Chan!! I still waiting for the k-box marathon!!!
Found this webbie a few days ago. Decided to ask one question, although the tarot is randomly chosen, but for me, it's quite accurate. 60%, I should say.
So I'm gonna share one of the question I asked, in the past, present, future format. The question is about...*you guess*
(:
Here's the results...Just gonna cut out the impt parts...cause it's quite long.
Six of Cups - Past
Just for now, leave the worries of the world behind. Live fully in the present. Even a few moments of such deep ease can seep into and change your life. If you are not experiencing the joy promised in the Six of Cups, you might look to your memories for such a time. In fact, this is traditionally the card of nostalgia, looking back on happier days.
The High Priestess - Present
The High Priestess invites you to come to a place of stillness, receptivity, and self-awareness. Trust your inner oracle, for the knowledge you seek is within.
Temperance - Future
Temperance often brings the message of a need for physical or spiritual healing. Creative self-expression through art may be just the right medicine!
Ok, past is quite true, in fact. Totally true. Present, stillness, true. It's just asking me to follow my heart isn't it? But doesn't everyone follow their heart in everything they do? As for the future, it doesn't bode well. But, the future is for me to find out though.
Try it if you dare, since I think it's quite accurate even if you don't think too hard about the question. I just thought of one and immediately clicked it. Turns out to be quite accurate :3
Went to check out my desktop while printing stuffs. I found my sis whole folder of songs. And..she listens to Paramore! Haha. I only love "That's What You Get" (Is it?) from that band. Currently. Dunno why I love that song that much. (*^^*)
Been playing P3, P3 still P3. KH2...feel like raising white flag ._."
P4 coming soon too.
Checkup says that I'm recovering. But I need more rest. Haha.
Been sleeping lots, but still feeling tired. Maybe I'm not fully asleep. Been having weird dreams lately. Real weird. And woke up screaming. Thank god no one was at home when I did that. If not, it'd be real embarassing. The only thing I remembered of that dream is...falling off something.
Ok, I know, the most boring thing than describing your dream would be listening to other's dream. Dinner outside again. Man, they should really start cookin'. Went to popular to buy a book for my drawings. I'm real interested in drawing my own characters now. First would be a chibi fox xD dunno why.
And, sry fantuan! I lost your number after changing phones so I didn't have it :X Felt really paiseh asking who called x_X"
Heard the song playing from my desktop while my sis is using. Lol. Remembered such a nice and meaningful song. Untitled by Simple Plan.
I open my eyes I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light I can't remember how I can't remember why I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain And I can't make it go away No I can't stand the pain
Chorus: How could this happen to me I made my mistakes Got no where to run The night goes on As I'm fading away I'm sick of this life I just wanna scream How could this happen to me
Everybody's screaming I try to make a sound but no one hears me I'm slipping off the edge I'm hanging by a thread I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered And I can't explain what happened And I can't erase the things that I've done No I can't
How could this happen to me I made my mistakes Got no where to run The night goes on As I'm fading away I'm sick of this life I just wanna scream How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes Got no where to run The night goes on As I'm fading away I'm sick of this life I just wanna scream How could this happen to me
->Practically describing what's happening at home.
Omg. I found out that dogs are so damn freaking cute!!!
Ok, maybe dogs are all born cute (Even chihuahuas.) (: But I only finally noticed that after seeing Koromaru in Persona 3. OMG THAT DOG IS SO DAMN LOYAL AND CUTE!
Makes me feel like owning one =3
Currently I own a virtual dog. (: That nintendo DS doggie game.
Keeping a Golden Labrador xD Kawaii!!
Ok, gonna go rest. Blog later.
P.S : Climeb 110 levels outta 256 in Tartarus. Happy!
This is going to be a long post, full with the frustrations of being just, me! So, please refrain from reading if you feel that it's crap and it will strain your eyes, yet if you wanna read, den what the hell, just read! But prepare some drinks on the way thanks (: You've been WARNED.
Recently there has been issues happening in my household, practically everyday. And trust me, it is definitely not a good issue. It's a bad one. Heck, there had been shoutings everyday often, almost everyday.
Yeah. You can practically say that I've had enough. I wanted to move out, yet I couldn't. Because I'm powerless, and most importanly, money-less to do so. So I decided. Revenge via requesting iPhone for my bdae present. Humph. Sounds nice.
Ok, back to story. These issues made me understand that, money is oh-hell-damn important. (: Moral of this issue.
Yes. Back to myself. Reflections done. Not those stare into mirror one okay! It's about myself. I've actually noticed something. Recently, I've been finding the so called "easy-way" out of everything. Yes. Practically everything. Till one day, I've noticed that. If there's no "easy-way" out for something, I'd just waste my time to find it, yet it'll never ever appear.
"Easy-way" is definitely something, yet, it makes you lazy. It makes you wanting your life to be easy all the way. And hell yeah, life isn't easy at all. So it makes someone like me feeling terrible. In the past, I don't find the easy way out. I do everything at my best. Take it like, I grinded TYS for my O's not like, hey, I guess this topic will be out, and I'll study that topic only. Some may say that I'm stupid, for taking the hard way, yet using that method, I could learn more, gain more. That's just who I am. I can't change to accomodate your thoughts right?
Take it, or leave it.
But now? I try to find the easy way out. Maybe because I'm starting to feel slack I suppose. But I do know that this should stop. It MUST stop. There's no easy way in everything. So I've decided to take the hard way in gaining knowledge, in studies, in life.
But hell yeah, it would be tough, but in the end, I would gain losta stuffs right?
Another thing would be, one point that I find myself being weird.
Even when walking, I would be thinking of stuffs constantly. There's once that I walked without thinking of anything, and trust me, I feel totally weirded out. It's like, not thinking about anything, it just feels weird and creeped out. And most importantly, the stuffs I think of are usually too deep or too wasted into thinking I suppose. Let me give you one example of what I thought of when I went out today.
"What is the meaning to living? How easy it is for someone to give up on living? What makes you think that living is important?"
Yeah, mebbe just like what she said, I've been thinking constantly. Everyone always says that I think too much, think too deep, think too far, think too complicated.
Why can't I just be more simple?! Just say it straight flat out for me isn't bad too.
Yes, simplicity is good, it's nice, but I'm just a messed up complicated person ok? Same sentence, take it, or leave it. It's me. Learn to accept me, or don't even try if you can't. Ok that's being rude. Sorry. *bow*
But really. I'm just like that. Quiet around people I don't really know, getting pissed off over unfair stuffs, think too much, not atheletic, messy, untidy, and more. That's just me! It's me! ME AND STILL ME!
Tried to change, but it's hard. It's just like some things that won't change, will never change. Facts can't be change. You just can't say that the Law of Gravity is messed up. Apple should float, and not falling to the ground right? Right?
I'm a very, very messed up and irresponsible guy. (: Other than schoolwork, I'm irresposible in all other stuffs. Maybe because schoolwork is the most important in this current stage. Hah! Practical aren't I?
I'm really trying to change this fact. It fact, I'm responsible for my room. I tidy up all the anyhow thrown mangas, and my working space (It's still mountain of books), except for my bed. I don't find any obligations in tidying my bed, only to lie on it hours later to sleep. And I've been nagged for like million of times just to tidy my bed. D:
Responsible person, definitely not me! I'm punctual for school (Yes, amazing. Can count how many times I've been late.), yet I'm 99% late when meeting others outside school. My friends can vouch for it. (Really sorry!) I've got the reason. Because I always think that it's still early, heh. But for school, there's always a time limit for me to step out of my house, so that's why I won't be late. *bows lower*
Trying to change lerrrr! Now mostly late 5min only! Last time I got late for 1hr okay! :<
Found out some stuffs through someone harsh words too. :<
Neglecting others way too much. Turning off hp way too much. Not charging hp way too much. That's harsh but true. Lazy to charge hp mah. -.-" But at least I do know someone worries about me when they can't contact me. Thanks (: But true, I'm always the "uncontactable one" no matter where I go. You can only, really find me in msn. Yeah. I'm charging my phone everyday now. So I'm definitely not the "uncontactable one" now!
And, let me think about more negative stuffs bout me then I'll write more.
I'm trying to change everything that's bad, and improving everything that's good.
Must be a better man you know! Liddat people would den feel secure.
Insecurities is around me now :< Total insecure. Haha.
-When one lies, you'd need more lies to cover the first one, until you find that, the truth is much more harder to say out then in the past.-
-Lies, what good is there in it? Other than hiding the truth in veils of curtains, there's nothing good.-
Junjou Romantica Season 1 Last episode! OH MY GOD! Uh. There's no god. Sorry. Oh My! WHY OH WHY?!
Doing 11 tonight, 12 now, since I'm interested after watching the caps at Dang's blog.
So we're continuing from episode 8 (I suppose, will cnf later), Misaki/Usami. But I prefer Usagi. Humph, I'll be sticking to Usagi(Rabbit). So we see Misaki sprawled out on the floor, and he asks the reason why.
1)Because of stupid Usagi. 2)Because of dumbass Usagi. 3)Because of asshole Usagi.
No matter which one you choose, it's correct. It's due to what happened 30mins ago... Apparently, Usagi is finding an excuse to let Misaki stay with him (Apparently Misaki agreed too.)So, Usagi said something exaggerating (As always isn't it?) BGM: Pans and pots falling. Usagi said that it's because he taking care of a Pomeranian (Misaki).
So he spins of a story from his imagination, which is practically 99.9% untrue(Only the part where Misaki wanna stay is true). And it's exaggerating like mad. So, Misaki thought that his brother would not believe in him.
Or rather, it's the opposite. His brother is so touched.You know, I think his brother is the only guy who would believe such story. His brother asked would it be a trouble for Usagi. Of course not. Usagi says that Misaki is a significant source of material for his inner muse. (BL novel inspiration).
Usagi assures that he'll take extremely good care of him. More like having *ahem* with him right?! Haha. End flashback.
So after Takahiro (Misaki's bro) left, Usagi headed into the kitchen, prod Misaki's back, and when he turned his head, he forcefully kissed him! OMG. Let go of Misaki!! And we see Misaki retreating miles away.
Misaki says that Usagi just spun the most blatantly self serving tale he ever heard. Lol. When in school, Misaki's senpai (whom I blatantly forget, since I'm not interested at all) informs him that Usagi won the Kikuzawa Prize, but Misaki seems not to know, so his friend, asks that doesn't Usagi share these type of news with him?
So Misaki asks whether the book that has been nominated is good? Since his senpai has already read it. His senpai commented that it's very Usagi-san like. However, he still "hates" his book. Misaki thinks that, since you hate his books, why do you even bother to still read it? Guess, guess...
On his way home, Misaki wonders which book has been nominated...and he thinks that it'd be a recent one. He thought of a BL novel featuring him and Usagi.
He screams and rushed home, opened the door with an angry face to find everyone there. (Aikawa, Isaka, Usagi) Aikawa present the book, and it seems to be a normal one. Misaki became relaxed. Lol. But seriously thinking, would someone award a prize for a BL novel? o.o"
Isaka says that he's going to manage Usagi's schedule , even thinking of making a Usagi fair LOL. Usagi asks him not to decide his life for him. And we see a super cute Misaki reading the book.
Aikawa asks what does Misaki think about the book, Misaki says that he haven't really read it. He says that when he see 10 lines of text, he get palpitations, shortness of breath, feels dizzy, and his arms and legs fall asleep. In conclusion, he never read it. LOL!
The publishing company had hold a party for him, but Usagi didn't wanted to attend. The manager says that His brother, Haruhiko is also invited. Usagi gets mad. Misaki didn't even heard his brother's name before.
Misaki noticed that he didn't congratulate Usagi. (Slow as always.) He thinks that he's a jerk, since they have been living together, yet he needs someone else to tell him that Usagi has won an award, and he didn't even know what the book is about. Since he's his boyfriend, he should at least know about it. So he decided to at least give him a gift.
While not trying to flatter himself, the probability of how Usagi would answer what he wants, 99% of it would be Misaki. So to prepare for it, he went to Usagi room, and took one of the BL novel to read, as he thought that since he wrote it featuring him, he would at least wanted him to do those stuffs in the novel. In the end, he decided not to do it.
He ran down into the kitchen to prepare dinner. Since Usagi has been giving him alot of stuffs in alot of ways, he decided that he should be taking the initiative this time. So he tries a simulation, which ends up giving him goosebumps instead.
Usagi reaches home, and he picks up a call from Isaka saying that why did he rush home after the interview. He immediately hang up the call, with Misaki asking him is it okay. Usagi says that it's depressing standing in huge crowd of people.
So he proceeds on in telling him that Haruhiko sent him a bouquet of flowers, and started asking more about his brother. Misaki is upset that he doesn't know about Usagi past. Usagi says that it would make Misaki uncomfortable. Misaki says that he wouldn't mind...causing Usagi to say that it's none of his business.
Misaki went mad, saying that it's not fair since Usagi knows him well enough to use him as a character in his book, but he don't get to know anything about him. He says that he didn't even told him that he has been nominated at all. And he says that since everyone around him knows about his family and stuffs, why not him?
In a folly, he says that since they're lovers, he should know more about him. Feeling weird that he said that, he hurried off. Usagi follows him, and when Misaki wanted to open the door to his room, Usagi hold Misaki and tell him his relationship with his brother. Apparently, his family and him aren't really on good terms. Misaki apologize about this.
To change the topic, asks Usagi what he wants, with lots of limitations though. After saying that, Misaki congratulates him for winning the award, only rewarded by Usagi, with a smile, saying that he should organize what he wanted to say first before talking. [It's rare to see Usagi smile like that!]
Usagi says that among so many congratulations, Misaki's congratulations made him the happiest. Aww. He kissed Misaki again! He says that there's something he wanted, and it's mi-sa-ki. LOL!
And they did xxx again leh! OMG! Haha. Practically Misaki thinks that Usagi wanted him to do those you-know-what things on him, so he decided to take charge, but in the end, it's Usagi doing it again >__>"
So after that, Misaki went to take a bath. OMG there's those cute rubber duckies!!! He couldn't do such things himself. I think he needs more training LOL! So, after his bath, he came out, only to find a book on the floor.
Correction. It's a whole line of books...leading to...
You guessed it. Usagi. Usagi shares one secret, which is, he never ever expected Misaki to do anythings related inside his novel, meaning those *ahem* stuffs stated in there is just fantasies, and should be stayed as fantasies. But since Misaki wanted to do it, then he'll just let him continue, and he would expect Misaki to do all the way.
Have you dug your own grave, you certainly did Misaki! Hahahaha. And with this, conclude the season 1 of Junjou Romantica (_ _") Oh why must it end so fast. It's just so damn funny!!!
