Hais...can't get to sleep....bothered and irritated with my indecisive actions...why can't I make a decision easily? I feel so lost...

So, so lost...can anyone help me...I really need advices...

Labels: Daily Rants

So far, I only have three major regrets. Which is...

1. Never study hard for PSLE.
2.Never get into the college I wanted.
3.Still lost at the crossroads.

Today went to the huge huge National Regional Library at Bugis with Phaddeus, den after that, nz and sj arrived. We cannot enter the reference section because...the security guard uncle said : "No Textbooks, no binding books allowed." So we went to the basement section to revise. No place to sit, sat beside the shelfs. Did some Organic Chemistry tutorial, and some Engineering Mathematics tutorial. After that, went to Bedok.

Finally found some Organic Chem and Inorganic Chem books. Borrowed it. Read it...some of the contents inside super complex. Don't think A Levels chapters aso dun have. After that, went to play bdmn with nz frens cos sj wants to do so. LOL rite. Sat there and stoned for like...30mins...den went home with Phad.

Tomorrow got 3 quiz. Maybe.

After today, I found out that. I am still freaking lost at the crossroads. Which road should I go? Shud I regret for what have I chose? Should I go back? Should I just leave this world? I need someone to really shed some light on me. I somehow feel like going to the correct path...the old path.

Bummer. Ok...gonna go study now...cyaz..

Labels: Daily Rants

Hahas...life still goes on..officially sick for the 3rd day. (Or 4th.) Today became slight feverish. Damn that doctor. Went to see him again, he said, this time, please rest well.

I did okay?! He made it sound like I went party-ing with friends liddat. LOL rite. Went back to CCSS awhile today. Went to teach chinese. Hahas. Funny rite. Me teaching chinese -_-"

The security uncle asked me loads of question before letting me in. AND he too my ez-link card somemore! Damn. Cursing the second time alr. Teaching sure takes alot of time and skills. Now I really respect my teachers lol. I almost fainted teaching some juniors. But overall, quite a nice experience. Have sweets to eat somemore.

After that, went to bk to study. Forgot to bring periodic table. Cannot do tutorials and revise. Felt more irritated. Waited for mal to arrive, and he told me everything. Gave him some advice. Dunno what he's planning now.

CSAS quiz haven take. Today sick cannot go take OC quiz. Sickening rite. Went home. Fever. SICKENING. Taking med. No use. Damn! Still got to revise for MEB, PIPC, OC and CSAS. Term test coming soon. Alot of tuts haven do. I need 48 hrs. Tomorrow must complete tuts.

Wonder who invented love. That person should die. Love is nice. But when love is gone...argh.

Who can be my best damn thing? LOL.

If you ask me...can I live without you? I could, I can even survive well without you, but I just chose not to do so because I love you. Hahas. Saw this line from a movie called "Rumor Has It." Damn funny movie.

The Best Damn Movie : The Holiday.
The Best Damn Show : Mars vs Venus
The Best Damn Anime : Honey and Clover
The Best Damn Class : 4E2 (2006)
The Best Damn Person : None Yet.

Hahas...make your own Best Damn List! Hahas...Avril Lavigne rawks.

I wanna watch Pirates of the Carribean! (Or Currybean.)

Labels: Daily Rants

Labels: Daily Rants

Labels: Daily Rants

Hahas...I seems to look so shagged. But got ppl say I looked dao in this pict...-_-" I wonder which is real...or is both real? Lols...after that, alighted and went home and slept.

Today, met Phad at the Simei CC dere...den went to Burger King to revise...brought my laptop dere...and found out that BK do have wireless internet connection! Den Phad wanna recharge his lappy batt, so went to starbucks, sat dere for abt 2 hrs, and he actually taught me how to play dota LOLS. I know quite abit alr...woots...thanks!

After that, SJ arrived, den went to bk to have something...den went home already...now bloggin here...tmr still going out with Phad and SJ to studie...hahas...muggers we are!

I still think of you...okay...

Gtg now...cyaz!

Labels: Daily Rants

We met 5 years ago, we quarelled for the first year, became friends since the second year, and I actually found out that I like you on the third year, and said all my feeling on the fourth year, but...nothing has changed.

Now, maybe you're going off this year to another place, and we may never see each other again, we've already going to reach the crossroads, and maybe you'll go north, I'll go east, and I am very sure that we would go different paths, and what can I do now is just hope that you will be happy with the road you choose.

Having a crush is the worst thing that can happen to me. If you ask me, am I happy loving you, I would say, yes. But...it just felt so pain to just look at you from afar. It's like, you're a boat drifting away, and I'm just standing at the harbour watching you leave...am I doing the right thing?

Woke up with tears again. Didn't felt that good this morning already. Vomitted once. But still went to school bcos there's Engineering Mathematics quiz. Had no problem doing it, lucky. Still, whole day...felt really down. It's like nothing could lift my spirits up. Yes, finally saw Jun Hui. She hi-5 me and said : "emo." I went -_-"

Walked home in the rain. Even the heaven is making the weather to suit me. Thanks. Next week got CSAS, MEB and OC quiz. Oh man, everything just cram to one week. I found out that one of my MC's have not been approved yet. PLEASE approve it. so that I will not just get a pass for CSAS. Another thing to dampen my broken soul.

Reached home, felt really SICK. must be the rain. I still walked to meet Yi Fan and return the books to her. How nice of me :)

After reaching back home, did some tutorials, trying to know wth is happening in OC, I guess I still need to wait for that book. Decided to just study MEB chpt 2 tomorrow. Right now, I'm freezing, even without a fan. I'm having a flu I think. Why must everything came crashing...trying to solve one thing at a time...

I really wonder, is just finding true love that difficult? Why everytime must be in this scenario, where the person you love, just can't love you back. This is just a little wish. But...everytime...this must happen. Let this end..I can't continue waking up, finding tears in my eye anymore. I am going to have a breakdown soon if this continues.

Be strong. How strong can I get?...Yeah...action speaks louder than words...

Cheryl! I still never saw you in ASc! I have already saw Nicholas 5 times le leh! where are you hiding!!!! *argh*

Yea. I wanna see Sharlene too hahas. And the rest who are in CCSS. I miss you peeps!

*Mending in process* my dear soul..

Labels: Daily Rants

Suddenly felt emotional..tears suddenly flowed out from my eyes without notice. Has the loneliness in my heart caused me to think of you again?...I just hope that this feeling could die down soon.

I dun want to cry in the middle of the night when waking up agian. I had swear to myself to never cry...but why...why do tears want to flow out that often...?

I remember someone asked me before: "Do you fear of dying?"

My answer is: "I do not fear of dying..dying is not scary, it's when you found out that you still had too much to do in this world, and you're regretting that you cannot complete these things that causes you to be sad and scared."

I've done and said it, so why...why do I still feel so sad. Whenever I am alone, what I think of is you. Maybe...the feelings for you is just...too deep.

Tears just kep on falling...rolling down...just...let all of this stop. I dun wanna cry anymore...

Labels: Daily Rants

Today is an even week, so no lab...no nd go sch! Woke up late, stoned infront of the tv and had lunch. Went to use the comp, decided to let myself totally rest for today. Played pangya, as usual, thursday patch, sucks again hahas.

Hmm...blog hopped like never before, until now...hahas. Revising for my engineering mathematics quiz tomorrow. Next week still got two more quiz to go. When can I have my weekend totally free?! Argh...

Currently not listening to any songs. No mood.

Can I have my love back again?

I wish for...world peace. LOL-ness.

Labels: Daily Rants

Well...woke up damn early because Yann Chang wanted to meet me to go to TP tgt. So, I went damn early. Reached at 7,50am. Cause we're supposed to meet at 8am. But, he arrived at...8.30am. Totally freaked out in fear of reaching my lectures late. Luckily, reached in time just to enter the Lecture Hall. Today engineering mathematics did some questions on past year paper. Spent the remaining 1hr and 15mins doing Bondings. [Covalent bond, Ionic bond, Metallic bond, Polar bond, Non-Polar Bond...etc.] After that, had Mass and Energy Balance lecture, partially confused liaos.

Luckily Zi Yang helped me =) He explained the things I dunno...realli thank him a bunch! After the lecture finish liao. Thought can go home. Den know got Communication Skills for Applied Science (CSAS) after this, so...found out my team members [Siu Ying, Leslie, Wen Liang and Wei Chin], they did all the work when I'm absent! Realli paiseh luhs. Actually I should be the one doing the presentation. But...no nd to present. Lucky =x

Went to find a place to have lunch. Walked from Applied Science school to Business school, to Design school, den to Engineering school, finally found a place to sit and have lunch. and we actually spend 30 minutes just to find a place. After lunch, rush to attend the tutorial. WENT TO THE WRONG LECTURE HALL. -_-"

Rushed to the correct lecture hall with Wen Liang, and found it! Hahahas. The CSAS tutorial was quite fun...the tutor just told us where to amend the mistakes for our lab reports. Now I know that, a lab report is so difficult to write. You would have to be detailed, sentences should not be too long, vocabulary must be correct with grammer correct too. Headache arh!

After the lecture, went with Zi Yang to the library so that he could teach me the things I dunno for Mass and Energy Balance. Cause I miss the tutorial quiz on friday, so have to do it tmr, (Last minute!) Went there, studied awhile, den Wei Chin came to study with us, after teaching me finish le, we left, leaving Wei Chin alone to revise. Sry!

After that, went to One Stop Service Centre to retrieve my Marticulation Card, after that, went to hand in my Medical Certificate, den went to the computer lab to complete my APEL thingy. On the way there, saw Phillip with Benneth together, hahas. Phillip seems AMAZED to see me in TP. I wonder why. Den Zi Yang said that Phillip is his Primary School friend. Wow-ness. But Phillip does not seem to recognise him.

Walked with Zi Yang to the SAFRA bus-stop dere, opposite de, sat there and chatted about games, to songs, to shows, he's a CSI: Miami fan lols. He waited for me to board the bus...den leave...so nice luhs. When wanting to board the bus, I den saw Kai Keat. Hahas, both of us were amazed by Yann Chang hairstyle (From flat to spike)
and his way of dressing is more "beng"...den chatted with him until I reached eastpoint and alighted, bought some food and went home,...now I'm here blogging, tomorrow got 5hr break! It's...like, omg la. 5 hrs do wad?!

Surprised when I found out that Karilynn contemplated suicide. Girl, although death would make your so called problems vanish, but it's still left unsolved. Dun contemplate suicide again ok?! Should have knocked your head with a hammer -_-"

Currently listening to...hmm...Outside Looking In by Jordan Pruitt (The name sounds like it's a guy, but it's a girl!) Here's the lyrics:


You don't know my name
You don't know anything about me
I try to play nice
I want to be in your game
The things that you say
You may think
I never hear about them
But word travels fast
I'm telling you to your face
I'm standing here behind your back

[Chorus]
You don't know how it feels
To be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like
To be left out
And you don't know how it feels
To be your own best friend on the outside looking in

If you could read my mind
You might see more of me that meets the eye
And you've been all wrong
Not who you think I am
You've never given me a chance

[Chorus]
You don't know how it feels
To be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like
To be left out And you don't know how it feels
To be your own best friend on the outside looking in

Well, I'm tired of staying at home
I'm bored and alone
I'm sick of wasting all my time

[Chorus x2]
You don't know how it feels
To be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like
To be left out
And you don't know how it feels
To be your own best friend on the outside looking in

You don't know how it feels
To be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like
To be left out
And you don't know how it feels
To be your own best friend on the outside looking in

That's all for now! Gtg...cyaz!

Labels: Daily Rants

Ahem, first thing I wanna say is...

Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers in the world! =) [Although it's already past 12AM]

Ok...let's continue with my bloggin~

Finally got back my laptop, sent it for reformatting due to the bloody gameguard problem. Sad thing is, I can't view chinese letters encodings anymore. The DVD player program is also gone. Wonder where to get that program. So far, had limewire, pangya, maplestory, audition, windows live messenger and winrar on my program list. Much, much lesser than what this laptop has before.

Luckily I had a thumbdrive to store certain data before I sent in for reformatting, so I guess the lost is not that much. Back in TP, and the notes are driving me mad!!! I found out that, most of the things in the notes, are included in A-Levels Chemistry Topics. Finally finished my organic chemistry notes, it's a long long way to go before I can catch up everything. Hope that I can do it by this two weeks.

Ok enough saying of my homeworks, notes, lectures. Bought a card for my dearest mummy, with some heartfelt words written it in. Wonder why, I felt so embarassed when I gave her the card. And I stil dun allow her to read it until tomorrow when I leave for school! I'm just so embrassed in saying good things about someone. Wonder why.

Well, lvled up in maple, 3 more levels to 70. Should I drill? I wonder. Trying to make new friends. But, sadly, I'm an introvert. Not really good in socializing. Just hope that could realli make friends with the ppl in my class.

Yann Chang has become the most avid fan I know for the movie 200 Pounds Beauty. Chatted with him, he said he is going to buy the limited edition...hmm...DVD of this movie in ebay which costs...$50? He also have all the songs in this movie. In addition, he knows how to sing all the songs by heart. Wow. Amazing.

I recommend ppl to watch the movie by Disney, read it and weep. It's a story about a girl's personal joural got released into a bestseller by mistake, and she changed from a friendly girl with her friends, to a veri attitude girl, where she lost her friends, caused her parents pizza shack to have no business. This is what changed her back to her own self. A chat.

Girl : Do you hate me too?

Boy : I don't hate you. I just hate what you've turned into.

Frankly saying, I dun realli hate anyone that much, I just hate what they've turned into. Pretty much many people around me have changed alot. [Including my primary school friends.]

Well, in the end, the girl turned back into her previous self. And...well, she lived happily ever after.

Roro, take care of yourself, since you've fever, drink more water, bathe more, and...get enough rest! Dun stay up that late. Dun think too much too. Everything will work out in the end :)

Why I just can't practice what I've preached? Ironic. I know how to say others, but I dunno how to say myself.

In the end, after so long, I still can't let go of my feelings towards her.

Currently listening to this song by Nick Whitaker - I Will Be Around...here's the lyrics :

You said your time was running out
You're far from where you wanna be
You're hanging in the lost and found
You're losing touch with everything
And when you need someone to lean on

I will be around
When you think its over
I won't let you down
If your luck runs out
And when it feels like life is holding you down
Whenever you need me
I will be around

Don't worry this won't last forever
You'll be alright better late than never
I will be around
When you think its over
I won't let you down
If your luck runs out
I will be around
When you think its over
I won't let you down
If your luck runs out
And when it feels llike life is holding you down
Whenever you need me
Whenever you need me
I will be around

Hahas, nice song I think. But too bad, the song is quite short when I found in in limewire. Hopefully someone with the full version could send me the song...ok...gotta stop writing, tmr still got school..just hope that I won't get the so called monday blues. cyaz!

Labels: Daily Rants

Already confirmed with the doc. He said this. It would be best to take this year to totally rest, if I want the condition to be better. So, had to follow what the doc said. Had to take leave. Oh well, next year den...continue my studies.

Is this a good decision? I wonder too...the onli thing I can do is what? shuffle between facilities. Home and somewhere else. Take more meds, stone at home. Going to enter this type of no-lifeness soon? I wonder. Possible to go out, but had to realli take note of what I eat. *Thinks of fast-food* no more. No more.

Went to the library, wanting to borrow/photocopy some reference book. And guess wad. The Tampines Regional Library does not have it. In the end, could not find the book I wanted, and, I found the book "I Believe You!" yayy. Wanting to see the ending for a long long time. Read the ending...finally found a good ending from this writer books.

Watched Spiderman 3 with Mei Ting and Hong Yu. Asked dang, she ish at bugis. sad la. Okay...one advice for spiderman 3 soon-to-be viewers. Be prepared for the spinning camera angle. (It's more worse than Spiderman 1 and 2.) And, yes. Peter Parker wins eventually. (Against Venom and Sandman.) I realli pity sandman...he is a good guy in the end. While Venom, he should die, why...because, firstly, he cheated his way to get the job (Photoshop, I warn ya.) just because he wanted to marry his girlfriend. Secondly, he doesen't mend his way and wanted the super-powers to kill spidey. And I actually happy that he died :) It's a good movie, but I still dun realli like the ending. Make me wonder, is there realli a sequeal or not.

Went home, stoned. Slept. Went to buy a 2GB thumbdrive to store all my laptop items. Taking to reformat it. Poor laptop. Because of gameguard errors, (Mind you, so many game needs gameguard.) It had to be reformatted.

P.S : dun buy TrendMicro Internet security thing. It causes your gameguard problem to LOOP. Mind you, LOOP.

Maplers, Pangsters, players that plays game using gameguard, see this ok? lols.

Well, guild has a new member, welcome!

And...although I have to take leave due to my condition, I can still go out sometimes de okay...remember to ask me out hor.

No mood to hear songs, so ain't posting any lyrics today...okay...gtg now...cyaz..

Labels: Daily Rants