立ち止まらない この針だけは Only this clock-hand would pierce through,
僕の明日を刻む音突き刺す the sound that engraved my tomorrows, unable to stop.
真実から逃げたら今 If I escape from the truth right now,
現実にも負けたら今 if I would even give up on reality right now,
何が残るの? just what would be left behind?
Nuffnang
Profile
Alias: Yuuki, Haru, Akihiko, Venskye
Name: ZH (:
Age: 21
Information
This blog is meant to be full of my rants, daily happenings and stuffs like that. Occasional reviews, stories, and opinions. It's my open, unfinished story.
Desires
->Graduate with more than 3.5 GPA. ->Best way to release stress. ->Shut out all depressing thoughts.
->God of War 3 ->Castlevania: Lord of Shadow Limited Edition ->DJ Max Portable 3 Limited Edition ->Assassins Creed: Brotherhood Collectors Edition ->New Renoma Leather Wallet ->Crumpler Bag (Black or Red) ->1TB External Hard Disk
It's bad to sleep at 9pm, and to wake up at 4am. With no food. Rawr. I'm feeling better but... Goodness I feel so tired. I shall go and take another nap.
Today thy have the mood for a long rant, full of hatred of myself. ):
I've finally realized. Why am I always so tired. Why am I always so unhappy. Why I'm always complaining. Why I'm always running. Why I am hating myself now.
It all goes down to one reason.
I tried so hard to please everyone, even though sometimes I don't feel happy about it, I still tried. I still went with it, bringing my own unhappiness.
I even tried to please everyone in the cyber world. What the fuck am I doing?! I wonder. Not that I hate everyone, but the thought of pleasing everyone, is just purely impossible. Why didn't I realize about it until now? I didn't realize that, it's impossible to please everyone. There's bound to be someone being unhappy.
It goes on and on, until the verge that I felt suffocating. I just felt so tired of pleasing everyone. I'm sick of it.
Sigh.
Sick of it x1000 *curses under breath*
I shall learn how to not please someone if I think that I want it that way. This way. Or whatever way.
I didn't contact anyone in two weeks. How amazing is that. Actually being away from people, have it uses. I can think, ponder, and get conclusions about some stuffs that I find myself hate, can't make out, or irritated.
Life sure is full of wonders. Sigh. The weather is so hot, and I'm already having fever. It's like being immersed around lava in the afternoon, and being in a sauna at night.
I was searching for Welcome to the NHK! And I found this. (: I find that it's quite perfectly sung. It's by far the best english dubbed song I hear. *Bad memories of Yugioh english dubbed song in my mind wtf.*
Welcome to the NHK! Is quite interesting :D
The puzzle is incomplete. Where is that one piece that I'm lacking? It lies...within you.
Maybe...being incomplete isn't bad at all. Perfectionism does not exist, after all.
100/100 = Perfect? Nope. It's just a maxed out score, on a paper. (: Life isn't perfect, but we're searching for that particular hazy illusions, delusional, or reality?
It's just like chasing a butterfly dream. Never ending...
~~~~ I felt a little elated when my mum told me my ct called. Thanks! God. I feel more sick than yesterday. ~~~~
Headache. My throat feels like something have been stuck there since forever. I feel hot all over. Mind you, not that kind of dirty "hot". Argh. It feels so damn bad feeling that sick.
The truth always hurts, yet it's the one thing that people can accept the pain. Without any hard feelings.
Current Mood: "Very Good" Feels Like: A jelly being drilled on Wants to: Stuff my ears with cotton wool. What I really want: Peace and Quiet.
Why can't people understand, it's the worst to disturb someone who's sick. ):
Even if the whole world was yours, would that bring you happiness?
Do you know of such a warmth, One that could embrace you on those lonely nights by yourself?
Sigh.
My eyes became watery. I regretted having watched that video. I know it isn't real. But I felt something tugging my heartstrings. I cried the moment he said : "Would you say I became a hero?"
Damn it. Why can't someone just use a phoenix down?
Now I realised how hard it is to make an important decision. When two paths is just infront of you. The one you didn't choose will be closed. What should I do, when being in this situation? How long will I need to stand in the middle, before making the decision?
The song that I heard once, and forgot the singer and the song name. I've finally found the song thanks to someone from aarinfantasy (:
Argh. The headache isn't subsiding.
It's called Leave The Pieces by The Wreckers.
You're not sure that you love me But you're not sure enough to let me go Baby it ain't fair, you know To just keep me hanging 'round
You say you don't want to hurt me Don't want to see my tears So why are you still standing here Just watching me drown?
And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine Don't worry about this heart of mine Just take your love and hit the road
There's nothing you can do or say You're gonna break my heart anyway So just leave the pieces when you go
Now you can drag out the heartache Baby you can make it quick Really get it over with And just let me move on
Don't concern yourself With the mess you left for me I can clean it up, you see Just as long as you're gone
And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine Don't worry about this heart of mine Just take your love and hit the road
There's nothing you can do or say You're gonna break my heart anyway So just leave the pieces when you go
You're not making up your mind It's killing me and wasting time I need so much more from that Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine Don't worry about this heart of mine Just take your love and hit the road
There's nothing you can do or say You're gonna break my heart anyway So just leave the pieces when you go Leave the pieces when you go Oh yeah, leave the pieces when you go
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Leave the pieces when you go
Today's little thought: ~~~~ The Lost Sanctuary. Theme for April-May. It sure goes with my mood now.
Lost, Irritation, Annoyance, Hatred.
I only see, what I wanted to see. ~~~~
Well, if anyone remembered my previous blog address, this has a little link to it. This is how I felt now. Because of some secrecy I wanted to have, I shall not divulge what happened that made me made this header.
[One of the reason is Kagamine Ren is too cute for words! I can't resist cute stuffs.]
I've decided to go Luca's route in Ar Tonelico 2. I wanted to go with all 3 routes, but if I choose Luca's, I can't go with Cloche. Lazy to do another playthrough again, and school's starting.
I don't feel quite well. My head feels so heavy now. Shall go to sleep before it worsens.
Well NtreevUSA got pangya, so I went back to play after a hiatus of quite long. [Half a year? Only when someone asks me to login, I den login lolz.] IGN: (horn)Akihiko ~> Yeah. Akihiko from Junjou Romantica muahaha.
West Wiz -28. 6 chips.
My military Arin~
Played with roro~ Got -29 ^^ 7 chips. Glad that my skills aren't that rusty yet.
So for now, I played finish 5 courses. Compared to my previous A18 scores:
Course : Pangya Score / A18 Score
Shining Sand -> -27 /-27 [Objective met.] Ice Spa -> -29/-34 [Sometime soon will meet. (:] West Wiz -> -28/-29 [Might need to try months.] Pink Wind -> -29/-28 [Broke. Happy. But why no -30 T_T] Blue Lagoon -> -24/-29 [Seriously what happened here >_>]
Listening to 周杰伦 - 小丑...that song is quite nice imo.
Okay off to bed nights.
Sometimes the feelings of seeing everything so clearly.
It's just so scary. Nothing seems to change, Nothing seems to care, Nothing seems to bother me anymore. The feeling of "Nothingness" It fills me now. How many masks do I need, Just to survive in this world?
Today's little thought: ~~~~ I'm lacking inspiration. Seriously lacking inspiration. I need lots of fish. ~~~~ Ah~ Enjoying the last few days before it ends. ): I wouldn't say purgatory though, I will just miss the days, of relaxing at home.
1 Year of relaxation should be enough. I just wanna enjoy myself for these few days. Top of the list enjoyment:
~~~~ I had a sudden thought of, "Humans are pathetic", after watching Jigoku Shoujo Mitsuganae.
Have to stop that thought. NOW.
I'm in love with Enma Ai. ~~~~
A storage space crisis. My ext hdd is only left with 48.7/232GB space, and my laptop is only left with 39/176GB space. Damn it. I NEED MORE SPACE. MOAR.
Sigh. How nice if I'd strike lottery or find money on the road which is enough for me to buy another ext hdd. >_>"
I somehow need inspirations. I need it for a signature request. What colours qualifies for "sexy"? omg.
Believe it or not, everything comes with a price. Nothing is free in this world. It is quite fun, finding perfection in imperfections.
Today's little thought: ~~~~ Today is the day where I had a very serious thought.
Sometimes it's good to have serious thoughts, to make serious decisions. ~~~~ So...today I went to hunt for clothes with my mum! Since Tampines 1 is open (DON'T GO THERE NOW. IT'S LIKE ORCHARD ROAD IN A MALL.)
Uniqlo is damn crowded, I gave up in trying to line up to get in.
But I've got some rewards for braving into Tampines 1 though. Japanese tidbits. ^^ The pistachio nuts taste so good~ with a price of course. Bought new bedsheets, at a sale. The design is...
Mickey Mouse and Pluto.
So I told my mum, I think I might be looking for my missing childhood because at the age of 18, I'm using disney bedsheets. [Like, the previous powerpuff girls isn't bad enough hahaha.]
Went home, slacked, searched for my lost youth. Nah. Just searching for old animes. Although I really felt like doing nothing.
Something shocking happened! And I made a serious decision, and all's well that ends well. (:
I managed to find Ai Yori Aoshi! Some of you may know what this anime is...
Ai Yori Aoshi, in my mind, I think it's the sweetest anime ever. The anime that I won't forget.
Damn sweet! Okay. I'm gonna stop here, there's 24 episodes of Ai Yori Aoshi, and 12 episode of Ai Yori Aoshi ~Enishi~ for me to watch! Mwahahaha.
Today's little thought: ~~~~ Sometimes, I didn't want restraints being placed on me. Yet, ironically, sometimes I felt the desire to be restrained.
Guess I'm like a bird, who desires freedom, yet after being granted, yet desires the birdcage again. ~~~~
Doppelgangers. All 3 achieved in one battle. (:
Galleries. My first time visiting this place.
Cameras. The only way to keep memories in flesh.
Vintage movie posters.
I loved the pocket watch.
Movies, movies, movies.
The shopaholic shopping bag.
3 years since I went to this place.
A trip down memory lane.
Where I once spent my childhood days at. Nothing much has changed, except a few shophouses, and some construction work.
Below, is a hill where I always climbed, and fell, and screamed.
The playground where I spent my weekends afternoon playing catching.
The place before the dangerous slope.
How many times have I hurt myself on this slope? Due to falling down because of bad brakes on a bicycle.
The back of block 20. Going back again today because it's on the way in a sense, since Bugis is so near already. So after visiting this place, I went home. With a satisfied feeling. Maybe going down once in a blue moon, is sufficient.
Uniqlo!
If I can believe in an illusion, I would. It does not mean that I hate reality, But sometimes, I need space.
If I can believe in an illusion, I can throw away that illusion. Whenever I want. Whenever I felt like it.
Somehow I'm a season late in watching this series, because...
1.There's always no seeders for the english version. 2.I finally found the chinese subbed version, but the quality isn't that good unless scaled down to about 400pixels in length. 3.Procrastinating everything in my life. (: *That's what I always do once in a blue...moon.*
Jigoku Shoujo Mitsuganae, is one anime that I couldn't understand, because when I watch season 2, Ai died. So I wonder why is she revived and back to being at her job as a hell girl?
Weird. This is so intriguing. So I'll go watch it. (: Btw, Jigoku Shoujo is quite a nice anime. Go watch! Those who love to see bad people getting their bad ending should watch this. ^^
[Downloaded Pandora Hearts, Sengoku Basara, Valkyria Chronicles and I'm lazy to watch it. Heck, I still have Skip Beat, Zoku Natsume Yuujinchou, Akikan, and Minami-ke Okaeri to watch.]
The OP for Jigoku Shoujo Mitsuganae is Tsukihana.
I'm gradually turning into a no-lifer otaku watching only animes. Come on people ask me out! [Although tomorrow I'm going out to meet fantuan, thursday going out with my mum to shop...I feel like visiting the UNIQLO branch in Tampines...maybe movies at friday night, or maybe movies at sat night, going to visit my grandparents grave on sat morning or afternoon?]
Today's little introduction: ~~~~ This summer, is a special one. We went to the festival, holding hands. Time seemed to stop, as we walked together. I couldn't hear the sounds around me, I didn't even know there's people around us. All I could do, I steal a glance at you, and you'd smile back at me. The orange lights being shine on your face, makes it look so much gentler, so much gentler. I loved it, when you held my hands so tight, guiding me into the forest. "I've got a surprise for you!" Is what you said. After exiting the forest, we came to a dark swamp. Suddenly, something glowed in front of me. "Fireflies!" I exclaimed. Suddenly, I felt a peck at my cheek. Looking at the fireflies with you, alone, makes it so memorable. This is my never, ever changing... Midsummer Night Dream. ~~~~
The recently gloomy march.
The never changing dark skies at 3pm. This is taken the next day. It looks so much darker.
The rainy night, with no umbrella.
The lonesome night, my only escapade.
Rainy March, seems to explain something.
It's now on my girlfriend.
The most beautiful evening scenery. The pastel coloured sky.
Dinner with my family, at an extravagant restaurant. Sirlion Steak with Chocolate Fondue.
My box.
Finished. The only constructive thing done on a sunday afternoon.
Today's little rant: ~~~~ I haven't watch Detriot Metal City yet. Damn it. Dunno who want to watch. SOB. I haven't watch Detriot Metal City yet. Damn it. Dunno who want to watch. SOB. I haven't watch Detriot Metal City yet. Damn it. Dunno who want to watch. SOB. I haven't watch Detriot Metal City yet. Damn it. Dunno who want to watch. SOB. I haven't watch Detriot Metal City yet. Damn it. Dunno who want to watch. SOB. ~~~~
I just finished watching K-On! And I had a similar...feeling that it's quite familiar to another anime...guess what? It's Lucky Star! Without the uber randomness factor though D:
Somehow I think Yui is similar to Tsukasa in Lucky star in the clumsiness and cute faces area. I think somehow this anime is one which I'd enjoy, therefore now I can confirm 2 animes in Spring 2009 that I would keep.
One would be K-On! The other would be Asura Cryin'.
The OP for K-On! is Cagayake! Girls.
Some screencaps from the anime that I find intriguing.
Detroit Metal City anyone? LOL. This is when Yui thought of the image of a "light" music band.
Shocked! And crying LOL.
Mio is cuteeeeeeeeeee!!!!! ^^
The ending for this anime would be Don't Say "Lazy". The ED graphics is quite nice. I totally like the feeling of girls wearing like that in animes! (:
With the last picture, I end the K-On! Fanboy-ing and I shall go to dinner.
I haven't watch Detriot Metal City yet. Damn it. Dunno who want to watch. SOB.
